dmxrated: (Link: Faces of Evil)
Enough with Getter Love!! already.

To begin with, the whole point of playing it this week before Grandpa comes over was to take advantage of its availability and stave off the time that I play Mother. Honestly, though, it's not fun when it reminds me of the grand finale of a fic that I am having nothing to do with for a long time*, and it says something when the secondary thing I decided to alternate it with, which I was originally planning for right before Thanksgiving, overshadows that instead.

(*By that, I mean that each time a girl (one of the secondary characters) visits one of the players somewhere, and especially when someone lands a double date, that in particular reminds me of the potential times when one of Unwilling Service's main characters will either battle or team up with either eachother or someone they've befriended beforehand.)

In fact, Mother can also wait a bit longer. Even though it might motivate me to work on some of my Starbound files for a bit, any planning for the fic's next arc is still gonna have to wait until Brian's here and I can show him this past entry and discuss things in general with him (even before we watch Popotan, either then or over the holidays).

All things considered, I'm just gonna continue reviewing my vocabulary, revisit just Kanji in Context after that, and then ask Marie then to send me her phone, reviewing stuff just one more time with that on its way here. (Even though I've abstained otherwise from RPGs in general well over a year ago for aforementioned Starbound-related reasons, I would be glad to spend some time with Madoka for until I can get some ideas for that damn arc to mull over already.)
dmxrated: (Kagami)
Chapter 13 of Starcrossed Sisters:

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12401714/13/Starcrossed-Sisters
-----

Dad picked us up some Turkish takeout for Mom's birthday. While Mom and I were sorting the food out, I accidentally knocked over the container of red lentil soup by a ladle that Mom placed in it.

From now on, let's take care of that first, and set it aside before we manage everything else.

-----

Let me be honest with myself as I continue putting my life back together:

My interest in Lucky Star has all but waned at this point.

Might come back to Starbound another day, but up until recently, I had simply been more interested in Pokemon. Just sent Jake another apology several days ago, after something dawned upon me and I figured he'd at least have had enough time to cool off, but I still have yet to hear from him. Even if he does, though, he still has yet to get his life back in order, and I still have next year's trip to save up for.

So, with even that off the table now, I mainly just wanna focus now on Madoka. I'm not even particularly interested in reading any fanfiction anymore, aside from what I commission for.

Speaking of which, since I no longer plan on writing anything personally like I did between uploading the original Cibus fic as it still remains to FanFiction and having Brian talk me out of rebooting it more than a year later, and with Starcrossed Sisters panning out so well as it is so far and looking fine even without her input, I gotta say that waiting for Yincira is also a moot point, at least as far as fanfiction goes. I did already mention hoping to discuss some terms for critiques whenever she does, but without my original reason for discussing fanfic possibilities, all that's left is commemoration and because I had already sent her Oriko (original and Extra Story), Kazumi, and Suzune Magica to read personally, and I'm sure she'd appreciate not having to brainstorm anything involving such fetishy subject matter inherent in the Cibus project. (Jake even told me in his last email thus far that Yincira might've been avoiding me because of that, and even though that's only an inference from a different person than her, I have no reason to doubt that might indeed have had partly to do with it.)

Confused.

Sep. 20th, 2017 07:31 pm
dmxrated: (Yuichi)
Need time to decide whether I actually wish to reconcile with Jake later on. Writing this, because now is not likely the time to bombard him with yet another email.

Jake. I'm sorry I made nearly everything about me. I'm sorry I became overly aggressive and acted so inconsiderately towards your agenda and situation. I'm sorry I gave you such a thing as permission to postpone further discussion for later, and then yanked it on you. I'm sorry I let all my emotions get the better of me. I'm sorry I came off as justifying myself when I only meant to analyze what ultimately led me to write "go fuck yourself." I wish I hadn't gypped myself of certain answers by assuming at the point in question that they weren't coming anyway, and I would be grateful to hear whatever you would've had to say. Again, I know we both said everything we respectively said at the heat of the moment, and you'll need some time to cool down before deciding whether to stand by it all or not.

At the same time, though, let me say this just for the sake of honesty, because I know it's not right to ask someone to come back and then demand that they make up for their own actions: Read more... )

You're free to contact me whenever you wish, if you ever do, but otherwise, I'm probably gonna take between a few months and a year before we talk again, if it's back on the table even by then.
dmxrated: (Yuichi)
All I wanted in the first place, was to have a meaningful break from Lucky Star after re-reading the prologue of Bonds. I wanted to start reading other people's Madoka fanfics, as the one who commissioned for and hosts Cibus Esculentus Madoka Magica, and under such conditions that they would actually interest me.

Sure, I was still focused on Starbound and some related material, but then Yincira left after a few months of worthwhile discussion, and no one I contacted afterwards offered real help with the Cibus project.

Now, I've already long forgotten about Blood's works from 2013, in favor of the since-revived Unwilling Service, but even that has ceased to matter, and I don't know where to go from here. It's hard to look forward to anything when the only things I've really succeeded with so far have been the ongoing Starcrossed Sisters and a line of pics from one other person in particular.

Jake, I'm sorry I gave you permission to disengage and then revoked it on you. I wasn't thinking.

We're still not done, though. I still value this relationship of ours, but it's your responsibility too. At the very least, I want to make sense of what actually led up to this latest disaster in such a long line as has been going on. I honestly thought we were on such good terms about things. You did realize how hard it is to be enthused about what's little more than a rehash of the games' plot, but that said nothing about any half-measures you'd later refer to.

I'll try not to be a sea lion. Just work with me, okay?
dmxrated: (Yuichi)
In addition to what I wrote yesterday and deleted last night, I said some hurtful things to Jake the day and so before. All those few things were on impulse, because nothing seems to matter anymore. Every attempt I've made these past two years to derive fulfillment from something just ended in one more failure, like I was never meant to have some fandom legacy to leave behind when I die.

Two days ago, Mom and I were running some errands, starting with the library to pick up some books I had on hold. She was the one to bring that up first, when we were leaving the gym that morning, before I asked about it again several times later for the sake of planning. That much went smoothly, and then she made another stop to Savers. I hopped over to Stop & Shop to pick up some cookies, but after that, could only pace around in an aisle before she showed me some tupperwares she found for said cookies. By that point, I just wanted to go home and sleep everything off, she told me she wouldn't be long, and I replied that she always says that and then takes around half an hour, and she got annoyed in turn and gave me the keys back to the car. (She actually did take only five more minutes.)

(In fact, had I gone on to live independently after college, I might very well have disowned my parents for such disregard for my own agenda that they seemingly displayed, such as by never negotiating to have me take fewer than four classes each semester, although I would still have welcomed any attempts to reconcile. It's a good thing I had continued living with them, having only concluded things about that more than a year ago.)

I also asked Yincira the other day how her mental recovery is going so far. That was on impulse, and I knew she still wouldn't have any real timeframe planned out, but I figured that maybe learning about the details would help me draw some kind of estimate. It does help that she mentioned to someone on Tumblr, having the spoons to read others' fanfiction and try out new shows again, from which I went on to remind her of Stars Above and suggest Divine Gate, but there are still things surrounding a certain subject that she told me only last week that she's tired of at this point, mostly in relation to what she might be willing to critique when she's ready in general. (Yincira, just hear me out when I do bring it up. I'm not gonna bombard you with this and that. I've got things drafted up for that point, since now still isn't the time, which is why I didn't contact you directly.)

I had also pulled the plug on what's gonna be my last attempt to recruit anyone for Unwilling Service. Only two people even bothered to apply (although Heather did come back, long after I stopped expecting to hear from her), which tells me that there aren't that many people left who might still be interested in the project. The fact that I even had to upload it a third time, because of nearly everyone I hire fizzling out and half of those I put on hold obviously moving on (evident from their lack of a response when I call them up), should speak volumes how well that's all gone.

In addition to that, there's not even any fulfillment left to derive from the story itself. All it is now is a reminder of how badly Jake had alienated me. To his credit, he did deny his own feelings as an excuse for having left such trust and consideration as mine unfulfilled. However, when I asked him what he meant about half-measures, among other things, he specified my ban on muscles being one of them. How he felt is up to him, but that just left me the impression of a six-year-old who ignores some instructions given to him and does things his own way, and then upon being called out, decides that he hates whatever involves them. Like he just decided not to take me seriously in the first place when I laid out a simple rule.

(In addition to all that, I can't help but also remember various other moments that didn't go so well between me and him. Not gonna take him on a guilt trip, though; I'm only mentioning that to explain what led me to treat him in such a way that he'd tell me off just last night.)

My decision to stop dealing with the story altogether also has to do with that still-planned trip to Japan, from which the story would also suck funding for as I pay others to flesh out each chapter I write. However, at the same time, I have also gone on to fish for OC-oriented Cibus fics, built around the Cibus/Esuriens dynamic itself instead of reworking canon characters around said dynamic (which can still wait until Yincira's back). So far, no one has bitten, and John is still busy with Starcrossed Sisters, but I'll be sure to ask it of him when he's done. Meanwhile, while I am not going to write anything as a Christmas gift, I did also ask Brian if he'd write anything for me as such.

Right now, I've just asked Link-NM, the owner of Makendou Central, if he'd be willing to help me plan out my Makendou story, but I'm done getting my hopes up about anything at this point. I'd be grateful if he actually did show some interest, but the only reason I haven't commissioned anyone for that is because barely anyone is familiar with Makeruna! Makendou, and obesity as a fetish is also a niche interest.

Basically, I've been at wit's end, and Jake had at least half to do with it. That's why I became increasingly hostile to him and even quick to assume that he had decided to disengage with me when I tried to reach an understanding with him, despite having given him permission in the first place to come back to it later. (If anything, though, I should have started my following email to him with "On second thought" or something.)

I hope Jake will forgive me for that while still accepting responsibility for his failure and doing whatever he can, whenever he can, to make up for that, especially since he himself had treated me similarly before for similar reasons that he'd explain years later on LiveJournal. If he does, maybe we can have another go with Unwilling Service and some kind of agreement surrounding that whenever he's got his life back in order, especially if that's within a year from now before I head to Japan. If not, that would be all the more reason just to leave it behind.
dmxrated: (Default)
Here is chapter 12 of Starcrossed Sisters:

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12401714/12/Starcrossed-Sisters

-----

Unfortunately, Jason had to back out of Unwilling Service due to family issues going on in his life, so I think the story might very well become something of a round robin as beta-writers come and go.

Went to someone else who I initially promised Ellen's chapter (only to give that to someone else by mistake; I apologized and she accepted) for May's, and also contacted another contractor who happened to be online at the moment for Jimmy's third. The latter of those took it up immediately, but I still have yet to hear back from the former, and will likely contact others today.

(Jake, meanwhile, has only come onto Skype those two times ever since I put my foot down. I'm not sure if he's read the few things I texted him since the second (one of which I paraphrased yesterday), or if he's still reading this, but unlikely as it may be, if at this point he's decided to beta-write the still-pending US chapters after all (assuming he couldn't think of anything else after I made it clear that his artwork isn't gonna count since he basically ignored my input, and has been too scared to contact me for other ideas), even if it's just those few more, I will still welcome them.)

-----

Not much had happened at home or during the trip here to Boston yesterday. However, I did spot a square-edged, amber die, slightly larger than a regular die, on the floor while awaiting the train in Bridgeport. With something like that, I should be able to roll more easily for 9, 18, 27, or 36 than by supplementing my primary die with an 8-sided one.

-----

Brian and I went to his apartment to drop our stuff off after I arrived, before heading to Marie's for breakfast-for-dinner. Marie had expressed interest in Lucky Star before, so I brought my DVDs of that with me, along with The Adventures of Pete & Pete (since we still have yet to find disk 1 of season 1 of that). We didn't actually watch anything though; the three of us, along with Sam, who had come to visit, mostly just talked before they went to this bar called Eugene O'neill's. (I just went back to Brian's because that was the time I normally go to bed, and I am not one for group conversations and would prefer not to wake up hung over in the morning.)
dmxrated: (Default)
Mom and I decided to get me a haircut yesterday. Instead of driving into the parking lot, though, she turned onto a less busy cross-street to drop me off before heading to MeatFarms. Had she done the former, she would have seen a note saying that Future Trims is closed until Tuesday. Instead, I had to call the house (somehow, Mom's number wasn't present in my phone anymore) and have Dad call Mom, who then got back to me and suggested I either wait for her or walk all the way down the street to meet her at MeatFarms, before the two of us headed to a different barber shop in Patchogue.

(Previously, Mom had me call the shop at 9:15. No one picked up, but we assumed it was because that was when they just opened up. I even asked Mom if it was any day in particular that they'd be closed, but she said she just wanted to make sure Andrew was in.)

-----

Here is chapter 2 of Unwilling Service: Jimmy's Quest, a whole fifteen months since I wrote its starting draft:

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8870021/2/Unwilling-Service-Jimmy-s-Quest

Gonna have Jason work on May's chapter from here, since Zecobo hasn't replied to any of my messages since taking that up, so that I can give some attention to her as I continue writing once and for all once I'm back home from Boston, after having already done another chapter for Jimmy half a year ago and started yet another one recently.

(Thanks, Jake, for not doing your fucking job for an entire year, giving up on it only a few months ago, and deciding you don't have the spoons to follow some correction instructions I gave you for a make-up assignment. I could've had the chapter up way back then, and gotten a bunch more chapters in with all three fics ever since. Since my terms still happen not to count, don't bother finishing Mai's pic or drawing anyone else, unless it's for yourself. Just PayPal me $100, and we can put all of this behind us and never discuss another business deal again.)
dmxrated: (Ellen)
I finally found someone who got it right and even took only a few days to write something. Here is the real first chapter of Unwilling Service: Jimmy's Quest:

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8870021/1/Unwilling-Service-Jimmy-s-Quest

(I'll be sure to explain what went on, and especially involving muscles, to lead me to replace the chapter, in an author's note when I upload chapter 2. Will also be sure alert everyone on Upwork thus far once I have chapter 3 up, since I am hoping to spend some time with May whenever I come back to US, assuming Zecobo actually delivers a final draft of her second chapter.)

-----

From two years ago:

https://dmxrated.dreamwidth.org/2015/09/18/

Apparently, the ANN article I linked to isn't there anymore. I couldn't even find it through the site's archive.

Even so, I did find Tyrfing's appearance in a school uniform rather amusing, so I decided to dig around for it, only to find out that not only had the game been released here less than a year later (unlike Divine Gate, which is still stuck in Japan despite its anime adaptation being localized here), but the event in question had come and gone half a year ago. Would've been glad to promote that on The Witch's Labyrinth, but reading this transcript on PotK Wiki, it turns out that not only is Tyrfing's appearance in a uniform actually plot-related, but she is actually a moot point as far as the Cibus project goes. Whereas Pia explicitly did become a Puella Magi in the Divine Gate crossover, Tyrfing explicitly can't for certain setting-related reasons that I would rather not undermine just for another Cibus.

(If Divine Gate ever does get released here, I'll be glad to check that out. The fact that both games' crossover events w/ Madoka have already come and gone is exactly why I've made a point of returning to Japanese back in January for the sake of Magia Record.)
dmxrated: (Default)
Found out several days ago that Pickup Gourmet had been revived back in February, two years to the month since I abandoned it the second time around.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/discussion.php?id=cmc3i4chdkskqe4bj7yzn9vv

-----

Reposted the Unwilling Service job under clearer terms yesterday, after failing with everyone except Zecobo so far to get what I actually want out of it. So far, six people have already applied.

https://www.upwork.com/ab/applicants/898613685681659904/job-details
dmxrated: (cake buffet)
Two days ago, Mom and I went to the Sunshine Square, where she bought some soap at the dollar store while sending me inside Stop & Shop to buy some chocolate-covered salted caramels with a coupon I picked up the other day. The lady at customer service directed me to a total of four different locations when I asked her twice throughout, but I couldn't find anything. While I was at it, though, I happened to spot some bags of differently flavored chocolate chips, and picked up a vanilla one.

When I came out to meet Mom, who was waiting for me in the car (while I also sat down to eat some Mounds after checkout), she got mad at me for spending nearly $7 of a twenty she gave me, and told me I could be responsible for baking some cookies for myself once I run out of what I've got in my bedroom cabinet.

Yesterday just so happened to be National Chocolate Chip Cookie Day. I placed said thing of cookies on the table, and also took to baking a batch of vanilla-chip ones, only to find out that we were out of butter and vanilla extract. Walked all the way to Stop & Shop to get them (with the whole remainder of what Mom gave me previously), and by the time I got back (at 10:00), Dad, Brian, and Marie were already waiting for me so we could all go see Dunkirk.

On our way there, Marie suggested that we pay Mom a visit at the hospital, I agreed rather enthusiastically, but Dad talked us out, saying that employees are not supposed to have people randomly coming to visit them, also suspecting that I was more interested in grabbing something at the cafeteria (which I implicitly confirmed). (The three of us would have gone if Dad weren't there as well, but Marie happened to agree with his point.)

The time being that at which I normally eat lunch, once we found ourselves a spot, I went out not just to use the restroom, but also to buy myself a box of CookieDough Bites, a few each of which I shared with everyone. Indeed, it was already 1 when we left the theater, and Dad and I both agreed to have Brian in charge of reheating us all some leftover ribs while Dad light a fire (it was pretty rainy and cold yesterday) and I bake those damn cookies already. Mom came home while my cookies were still baking in the oven, and even suggested that I put them back in after noticing them not quite done, taking them out again while I tended to over fifty WaniKani reviews that had accumulated in all those hours.

At Brian's proposal from when we were coming home, I later went with him to Starbucks, although all either of us had left to talk about has been my situation with Jake this past week. Most of what he had to say was about how I could've handled things better, although he did later admit when I asked that he would have had similar advice for Jake if, hypothetically, he were to share his side of things with him.

As for orders, I had myself a tall Midnight Mint Mocha frappuccino, but barely managed to taste anything. Glad I didn't order a Smores one. Mentioned to Brian how much more flavor the same thing had at Tanger Outlets, and he explained to me how food in general tends to taste better when you're hungry than when you're full. I admitted how full I actually was from eating lunch so much later than usual, and even had just a salad for dinner later on.

And, Brian and Marie both went back last night. (Marie originally planned on staying around for a few days, but got kinda stressed out over her lack of employment from those few months ago.)

-----

Zecobo managed to place a finger on word count last night, and asked that I pay him a lot more than just $12 for anywhere around 10,000. I told him I would get back to him once I make a bank deposit and register for a new system that the bank has recently implemented.

Heather had also made a similar request the other day after I cleared things up with her, and I asked her for a few days to see how well things pan out with the others. So far, things in general are already looking good with Zecobo and Kristen, especially with what he happened to name, and she is now back in reserve for the time being.

Given all that, I think the time might just be right to get back into Starbound already. I haven't been thinking so much about Madoka lately, and there are certain things I'd like to do at least with my Dropbox files. (Popotan is still gonna have to wait, though, since I've already spent some money that I would have otherwise spent in Boston previously. Brian even agreed that a brief visit next fall might be a better time than this past visit for him to read my 4th grade document that he still has yet to read, so that will be the main focus then.)
dmxrated: (Default)
Went with Brian to Bagel Lovers down the street yesterday. For the ride there, I suggested he check out Super Bomberman R as long as he intends to invest in a Switch, after having consumed music and footage of it on YouTube, and also described my Upwork situation and how that has improved to him.

During our actual time there, I asked him if he could place a finger on what it is about my wish to pay tribute to Konami's canon PSX library in some way with Day of the Beehive. He agreed that to buy so many games as it released in all three combined regions would be super-expensive, and suggested I just recommend them, providing information about each game and links to YouTube footage. (This is something I'd probably do, in release date order, on the day we release DotB online, although I'd be really hard-pressed to come up with anything for all its various sports games; seriously, how much different overall could Goal Storm be from ISS Pro Evolution? Soccer is soccer.)

-----

Jake was never on Skype ever since I doubled down on him until just yesterday afternoon, upon having a partial sketch of Mai Tsurugino naked to show me for input. He is far from the first person I've ever commissioned whose skills don't even remotely amount to Yincira's or JessicaElwood's, and I gave the best input I could muster when he's not interested in anyone else's input and Yincira is still out to lunch and never will deal with anyone sporting such excessively large breasts as she's supposed to in the respective fanfic. From there, I've decided to let him revise and finish her before I decide whether to have him proceed with the Unwilling Service mains or do something else.

I also gave him permission to ask me for fanfic help again, but also requested a list of everything that bothered him about US that he supposedly never brought up with me (assuming until then that, by "75%", he meant of the fic throughout, most of which was only outlined so far, little in turn of which we ever even talked about). At first, he failed to understand how I failed to get anything he said, but until last night, he did leave some stuff a bit vague. After having previously started explaining his situation about Pokemon in general, he ran out of steam and just left it at the time at "half-measures", which he then only specified as "respecting eachother's wishes", which, as it now turns out, did in fact mean compromises. He explained just last night that, basically, he wanted freedom to do various things his way, but I wanted some level of control over what he does, and this went on to affect how subsequent scenes would play less to his liking than if I just let him do whatever. Along with how he wanted to picture Jamie, he also cited something Ellen originally did to her father (now her uncle) that I just rolled with at first but would later delete after he wrote up an expanded version of that. (Unless I misunderstood him last night, he thought I was talking about what she did, when I actually meant any sexual interactions with him, which I would equate with his aversion to Jasmine being sexualized in any way whatsoever. Not that I expect just that much to bring him back on board.)

(On a similar note, I am willing to allow Jake to reinstate the original metamorphoses, something I went out of my way to avoid originally, into the Yoshi's Island fic if he ever sees that through, given how inherent he specified they are as part of the original game.)

Well, Unwilling Service is and shall remain my project primarily, and to begin with, to have him expand upon it was his own idea back in 2011, based on his personal opinion of my writing style that I so happened to agree with for that particular story. So, yeah, I can kinda understand how much more fun he expected to have, to go wild with things, instead of having me tell him what he can and can't do, and I'm at fault for not making anything clear when we first agreed upon anything. Keep in mind that the closest I knew about to Upwork back then was to shop around on deviantArt and invite people on FanFiction through author's notes. I'd at least owe him points for trying to see things through anyway, even if I wouldn't have experienced such intense frustration trying to get anything out of Upwork if my attempts with Jake didn't drag out for so long as they did. Now that he's done writing anything to it, I do hope he still enjoys reading what goes up despite certain things he still disagrees with.

-----

Last night, Mom actually managed to boot up my previous laptop, after talking with Brian about bringing it to Apple.

On the negative side, Marie's flight here has been delayed to tonight.
dmxrated: (Makoto)
Right now, I primarily intend to show Brian my Upwork situation that I wrote about yesterday. So far, Kristen already has a draft written up, and Zecobo told me he's ready to read the final drafts of the chapters I presented everyone, but even with Jake's explanation of my expectations in place, I still don't see any sign that they will or have done any better than Amanda or Heather.

In case he reads on, though, and also to get this out of my system, I'm seeing fit to elaborate what actually bothers me about Jake's failed role in things. I will admit having been on an emotional high when I stated my refusal to help him with anything for now, but he is very much responsible for that and another one I'm having right now. (And no, I also don't want to hear that I only have myself to blame for this whole year gone by; I do admit partial responsibility for that, but that's exactly another point I seek to dispute with this entry.)

Cutting to the chase, the whole point of having revived Unwilling Service in the first place was to distract myself from my constant failure at the time to find anyone to meaningfully engage with about the Cibus project. Now, US is the main project for until either Yincira comes back to discuss the Cibus project or I feel ready enough to get back into Lucky Star for real. Even though I have successfully commissioned for some giantess ideas for Ultimate Girls, Kanon, and A Little Snow Fairy Sugar, all to discuss more in depth later, the giantess project is something relatively small for the sidelines, and this isn't even just about keeping my plate full; it's about getting the ball rolling so that I can eventually reach the Sinnoh Battle Frontier arc and determine how that whole thing plays out.

So anyway, I revived the project with high hopes that Jake would actually get down to business and no reason to assume that he had so many minor issues with it that weren't worth complaining about individually but numerous enough that whenever he actually did catch a break, he'd work on something personal instead just to distract himself from it all. My muse for it petered out after a chapter for each main, due to his failure to uphold his end of the bargain, and that's why I only managed one more chapter all year long after that. If he decided after maybe a few months, tops, that it wasn't worth continuing with at that point, I wouldn't have been left with such hard feelings as from the length of time it did take him to come clean.

I've already mentioned Dad having asked why I'd wait on him for so long, just shortly before he actually gave up. First of all, I am not inconsiderate enough to fire someone over things that they have no control over. I know things happen to impede people of what they need to do, and when he knows he doesn't want to do something, he's usually forthright about it. Second, for writing consistency. Third, because he has still owed me $34 worth of work in exchange for stuff I had sent him years ago, and he made that $50 in exchange for something other than a Starbound rewrite, given his disdain for Lucky Star. Fourth, because everything he cited going on happened to mirror my own life, full of stuff to distract me from the project, and it became hard to just dismiss it all as excuses. And finally, I needed to save up for both my then-planned follow-up trip to Boston and a still-planned trip to Japan that has since been bumped half a year forward. I could not afford to throw money around on Upwork at the time, at least until Yincira talked me out of the first of those two trips altogether, after I told her that a return to business on her part would negate any reason for me to go up there just to have Brian read Puella Magi Suzune Magica and discuss a Cibus adaptation thereof, which was at the time going to be a holdover for until Jake would finally have something ready for me whenever he would already (or so I thought).

As for why getting much more elaborate writing in has been such a big deal for me, well, here's Jake's summary of what I'm now looking for from others:

Basically...

I wrote in an 'expansive' fashion. I took the stuff you did, and started by filling out paragraphs because yours seemed thin. Not every single one, but where it fit.

By doing that, I also focused on adding 'character' to the characters. Expose their personalities. Add tics and traits. So on and so forth.

Also I sexed it up 1000%.


In other words, to cover aspects that I have barely any hope of developing to any meaningful extent. (This is to say nothing of how he managed to flesh out May's second chapter somewhat by having someone come along with her just temporarily, which would greatly influence what I did with the next one, as opposed to if only Azelf had been with her.)

(In case the need arises, even though I did talk Brian out of reading the story in general, I could show him May's first chapter under both my writing and his. That one doesn't contain anything squicky that I specified to him in an email; only similar stuff to what I cited from Popotan before. Of course, he did kinda abandon Pokemon long before the release of Ruby and Sapphire, only marginally involved with it for less than a year after beating Stadium in 2000, but I'd be more than happy to tab things up for him for clarification.)
dmxrated: (Kagami)
For not the first time, Mom asked me yesterday what's been getting to me that she can't help but hear me rant and rave to myself. It has everything to do with my Upwork situation, which is what I later brought up with Brian when she put me on the phone with him.

I ended said call promising to fill him in on things when he and Marie come home next weekend, but I suppose I might as well just get shit out right now:

Read more... )

(*Jimmy's first chapter still has traces of something I explicitly asked Jake not to include, and I've decided to take advantage of his departure from the project to have that rewritten on my terms. And no, barring any further discussion with him, I am not calling him Jamie anymore.)

-----

If Lucky Star: Day of the Beehive ever goes halfway through, with its progress to be hosted online, I might just buy myself an original Playstation and start recording playthroughs of Konami's different games for it to host at the end of each blog entry. (Will still use my second Playstation 2 to play Japanese games, including those published by other companies in the US. Will also record new playthroughs of the Earthbound trilogy (unrelated to either entity), and maybe even Dragon Warrior III first, on emulators, when the game is almost ready for launch.)
dmxrated: (Default)
Jake hadn't been able to write any more all week about why he couldn't commit himself any longer to Unwilling Service, but allowed what he specified as "halfway measures" between us to pretty much sum it up yesterday. This whole time, I thought he meant "compromises" by that, even though we only had any explicit conflict about a handful of things, but he went on to specify "respecting eachother's wishes" as what he really meant.

Presumably, his willingness to beta-write the story had been unstable possibly even back then, and only reached the actual tipping point recently. I kept bringing it up with him because he seemed to suggest there was more to it when he said he'd have "part 2" ready when he shared what he had already written more than a week ago. At this point, though, I think we can drop it now; not like I have any reason to ask him to cite everything he came to hate about the story.

As of right now, he's had an exhausting week and does not wish to discuss the story right now or create outlines for either that one or the Makendou project. He did say when I asked, though, that he'd be more willing to still give input after being allowed to unwind for at least a month.

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Marie drove me and Mom to the library and various other places yesterday. I did what I had to do, and landed some new DVDs to bring home, including a DVD set of Ultimate Otaku Teacher (technically part 1 of season 1, as was my previous copy) that I can watch on my computer.

My last Universal Yums box arrived by the time we came back home, this month being South Korea. Marie commented on how political it sounds when it didn't simply say "Korea", but I should've noted having learned from Cracked how "national" foods are a political concept to begin with. (Didn't actually have anything, because I had already landed a cookie from Cirillo's Market where Mom dropped me off to pick up cream cheese for some bagels that she would toast for lunch.)

Marie and I later saw that drone that flies around every now and then. I was hanging some wash in the backyard, went to get her to come see, and found her already watching from the driveway.
dmxrated: (Ellen)
Finally decided just to post Unwilling Service to Upwork yesterday afternoon, since John is still taking too long with the current Starcrossed Sisters chapter. Got a total of five applicants before I went to bed.

https://www.upwork.com/ab/applicants/883435532019712000/job-details

The reason I haven't done this up until now is pretty much moot. It mainly had to do with my trip to Japan that was going to take place next winter, but that's been postponed yet further, Yincira's talked me out of going to Boston for the main reason I planned, Jake's abandoned the project, and I should still put the money I would've originally spent in Boston towards getting my agenda back in order one way or another. Life is too short just to wait around for people to get back to me.
dmxrated: (Yuichi)
Jake came clean after reading yesterday's entry, and said that he just can't work on Unwilling Service anymore. There are just too many creative differences between us.

I knew he hated some things about my plans for the story. Our dispute about Jamie's body overall comes to mind, he once asked me not to include the gen IV Battle Frontier (which I flatly declined), we did have a disagreement over how HMs would be obtained, he's already mentioned how hard it is to be enthused about what is mostly just a rehash of the games, and of course, there's the PokeWalker, which he hates but I found awesome back when I played SoulSilver. However, while he also hates the gen V games, the only line he drew regarding those, should I ever write a second ficseries, was against Snivy as any protagonist's starter of choice. I actually did offer to keep the PokeWalker out of his way in some way or another upon sharing my draft of Jamie's second chapter, which he declined, and I had no idea that he actually hated as much more as 75% of everything involved so far than those few things.

He did say that the overall concept did interest him, and I'm glad he was able to create his own story ideas based on them. I did ask him last night to cite other things he hated about it at some point if he's willing to, in order to see what I'm willing to do away with (for example, the Kimono Girls' HGSS role, if that's another thing). However, if he really did hate so much more stuff involved with the story than I was aware of, then maybe it really is better that he just leave the project.

For exactly the reason I had Jake rewrite everything I wrote, I've asked John if he might be interested in what I only specified as something Pokemon-related, even though he's already slowed to a crawl with Starcrossed Sisters. Will need a few days to actually compile what I need to show him first, including the story outline, the original and final drafts of each online chapter, the current drafts of the chapters I wrote this past year, and the links to certain Pokemon episodes and the unrelated Ultimate Girls on Animeram. (Still need to fix up Jamie and May's opening chapters on FanFiction first.)
dmxrated: (Kagami)
Dug up Kanji in Context, read through the first two lessons, and I can already see Wanikani paying off. It says so much when half the time, I don't even have to look stuff up that I would've had to five years ago.

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Asked Yincira if there's any slight chance that she might allow me to bring fanfiction up with her again, in which case I could call off my next visit to Brian's. She suggested that I not go there and drive myself broke anyway if that's the only reason I plan on going there, instead of just to spend quality time with him (which we do enough of anyway), saying that fanfiction should not matter enough to shoot myself in the foot over.

No, it shouldn't, but in my case, it really is that big of a deal at this point. I messaged him on Facebook to ask if he could just download Suzune onto his phone to read on the train, but of course, he is too busy trying to meet the end of a work quarter right now. So, that still has to wait, and in the meantime, I still want a meaningful change from Starbound, but it would really help if Jake had already written anything. Right now, I don't have anything left. I'm still just barely a quarter of the way through Wanikani, which means I'm still gonna have to keep consulting my dictionary when I play Magia Record, which I have no reason to expect much of after my short-lived time with Cutie Riot. All I wanna do is spend time with other characters than anyone from Lucky Star, but the closest I'm gonna get to that is a subpar experience with MR, from which all I really want are more Puellae Magi to set aside for the Cibus project, and it's already gotten to such a point that I've finally taken to Upwork, where I've also asked for Homura's timelines and Kazumi Magica.

As of this morning, I did explain what's at the bottom of all this, regarding the circumstances surrounding Tsubaki, Suzune, and the twins, and how well those would translate into the Cibus project, as well as how much more I expect from Brian after our past discussion about the original story than from some random person online.

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As far as Unwilling Service goes, I think the main difference is that I had a lot more going on between chapters five years ago, such as Kanji in Context, the Earthbound marathon, and Starbound, than I do right now. I already had Ellen's first chapter up and Jamie's awaiting a rewrite when I got started with May's during the summer of '12, it got too hot at some point to continue writing that, and it took me a whole year to actually finish my own draft of it to send to Jake, halfway through which he had already sent me Jamie's chapter at its completion. Last year, I finally wrote a new chapter for all three stories in quick succession, Jake hasn't done anything with them this whole time, and while he did admit to having similar blocks way back then as he had just a few weeks ago, I can only wonder if he'll get anything done by next month or the month after.

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Mom had some shopping to do at Target, and before dropping me off for a haircut before shopping at MeatFarms first, she asked if I'd like to eat dinner there. I took it up, and when we got there, I got myself a personal pizza at the snack bar, before standing in line for a drink from the Starbucks counter. Five people ahead of me who should've all just ordered their drinks, had them whipped up for them, and been on their way. It took seemingly half an hour, I was already pissed about my fanfic situation, and at some point, Mom came over and asked me if I was "done". Hello. I'm not only waiting in line, but holding a pizza that I've obviously planned for the main course.

Ordered a Smores frappuccino, and while the pizza was good, the frappe barely tasted like anything. Complained to one of the clerks while they attended the drink machine, and she only told me that's how they're made. Threw it out halfway through consumption.

Might give the same thing a second chance somewhere else. Oddly enough, I came across two people's complaints on BuzzFeed about how watery the Midnight Mint Mocha variety is while Smores is so much better, but I actually had an MMM at Tanger Outlets the other day, and it was awesome.

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Last night, jessicaelwood finally showed me a draft of what I commissioned her for. I was already in bed by that point, and only woke up briefly six hours later, but she commented on how quick I was to reply. This is what comes with having almost nothing but downtime compared to almost anyone else.
dmxrated: (Kagami)
So, it turns out that when you copy from FanFiction.net and paste into the document creation window, it just converts everything into raw code. I had to ask Jake to send me the final drafts of Jamie and May's first chapters; the alternative would be to wait until I finally hit Brian's place again. And it's a good thing it's been years since I last updated anything, given how deeply all three fics have been buried at this point.

Gotta remember to copy such stuff into the editing window if I ever need to again.
dmxrated: (Default)
Changed the dates in Unwilling Service to begin on February 27, 1996, the day Pokemon itself began as a franchise. Particularly had Sinnoh's honey trees on mind; bug-hunting is normally a summer activity, and I just can't see it working quite so well in the fall or winter.

(Hint: In order to copy text on FanFiction, just change the URL's "www" to "m". I already had Ellen's first chapter in the doc manager from before, but Jamie and May's are both either on my flash drive or our external hard drive.)
dmxrated: (Default)
Managed to write some dialogue to start Ellen's third chapter off on, thanks to certain thoughts that game manual had sparked in me. (The fact that Jake had shown me something I had never even heard of also suggests that he might already be getting back into Pokemon.)

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Dad brought Grandma Ella out to say goodbye to me while I was mowing the frontyard, and took her to the airport afterwards.

Mom called while I had the house to myself, and I asked her if she had managed to pinpoint which day we'd be leaving for Virginia.

As it turns out, Dad would like me to stay home to mind the house and cat. From what Mom told me, Grandma Barbara recently had someone work on her kitchen cabinets, and the person she hired botched the paint job, so she would like Dad to come and re-paint it. Originally, Dad wasn't even gonna come with us, but given these circumstances, he cannot stand to leave the house vulnerable with no one looking after it.

It also turns out that Grandma's the only one who will be there (everyone else is out), nor will we be eating out or doing anything else together.

Would've enjoyed a change in pace, but all things considered, there really is not much incentive for me to come. Such an arrangement as this means that I have more time to get as far into Jamie's next chapter as I'll find myself able to, and to switch gears from Unwilling Service, I will probably have another go at Kanji in Context before trying out Magia Record.
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