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Mar. 14th, 2013 08:14 pmBeen having issues regarding the day program at Community Enterprises.
To start off, while Friday last week was such a good day there, Monday... not so much. We watched some stuff on YouTube about Walt Disney World and Hollywood, did a few wordsearch puzzles, had lunch, and then did pretty much nothing for the rest of my time there (and my bus home was set for only half an hour early before everyone else). Told Mom about it when I got home, and she told me to speak privately to Fey about things and tell her that Disney is not appropriate for a bunch of adults, and we ruled Mondays out of the supposed minimum of three days a week.
Just yesterday, I come for my second session for the week, and one of the staff (don't remember her name) asks me where I was the previous day, and explained to me that I'm actually supposed to come all five days of the week. I spoke to Fey, and the part about anything being private slipped my mind; I just spoke to her right where we were (thankfully, not a whole lot of people there yet), explaining everything I saw wrong with Monday. When class started, I started off by explaining to everyone how inappropriate Disney is for us all in our 20's or so, but a few people said that lots of adults watch Disney movies.
Anyway, the real class began with a fire drill. We went out, lined up near the curb, and came back inside, and then Jushean, who was in charge of the group, started giving a seminar about fire safety. So far, that's a much better use of our time there than watching some Disney bullshit on YouTube. But then, more wordsearch puzzles, and then nothing after we all have lunch, until the last half-hour when we each paired up with someone to get to know each other. During the empty time, I picked up my backpack from the closet, multiple times, in an attempt to leave, only to be stopped each time. Couldn't even hang out in the hallway to pace around (instead of in the room, where I would be stressing people out by doing so).
The only reason I didn't ignore everyone and actually leave, was because I wanted to run my intentions by Mom about dropping out entirely, without any conflict. As it turns out, I might as well have just flat-out left, because last night, she told me that Jushean called her regarding my behavior. Dad overheard us discussing things, and called me over to lecture me alongside Mom. Understandably enough, he became increasingly furious with me. Not gonna go into detail directly about anything he said.
-----
Mom said that part of what Jushean complained to her about was that I complained about Disney. Okay, so that was a little misunderstanding, since Mom did say that I could be the one to "speak up". Furthermore, I will admit that I was being immature, which did justify Jushean and several others ordering me back into the room with everyone else. But, that's beside the point.
Let me make one thing clear that I already mentioned a year ago: Be nice to me, and I'll be nice to you. Get rough with me, and you had better have a damn good reason to be, or else you'd have some real balls to expect me to take your shit lying down. I don't give two fucks if you're my father, one of my friends, or any future employer of mine.
Yes, I deserved to be spoken to and treated like a child for the way I was acting. If you ask me, though, I would have preferred that and any other consequences involved in any given situation, to simply sucking everything up. If you'd like to know, I actually did suck up a few things that happened back at UCP; in particular, when someone set me up with some computer program and monitored me from barely a few inches away from me. I asked him nicely to back away, and he insisted on sitting that fucking close to me. I just did my program, but wished afterwards that I instead got up and stormed out of Bobby's office. That someone orders me to sit near the entrance when I'm walking laps in the halls is justified, but even with having someone invade my personal space, the only reason I didn't stand up for myself is because I was afraid of what Mom and Dad would have to say if I made a scene at a program that they paid for. If that's what happened at any point afterwards, then no, I wouldn't let that kind of fear get in my way.
My problem isn't having been treated like a child. No, no, no, no! This is about me, 1) being expected to give up the time that I spend towards fanfiction and kanji lessons (when I'm not playing video games), 2) to participate in a program, 3) whose main purpose is to socialize me, 4) in a way that I already tried back in high school and found does not work. Once a week would've been fine; three days a week was already pushing it; at five a week, I would expect that my time be spent doing better things than the aforementioned.
Mom did suggest this morning that she and I work on ways to make the program better for me. I told her that I would reach a decision next week, when both of us talk to Fey and Rick about the situation. (Can't go this week, because Mom has a doctor's appointment, and I've been having a cold ever since I got home yesterday.) However, I did write everything down in a notebook, looking past Jushean and several others insisting I stay in the class with everyone, and really analyzing what the hell was wrong with this whole thing, writing down everything I had written in the paragraph above this one. With that, I've pretty much reached a verdict already: Fuck the program! If I've already been written out of it, good! If they're not willing to give me a second chance, not like I even want one anyway.
A shame, too. I would've been glad to suggest some anime to watch on movie day at the end of each month. They also do celebrate birthdays at the end of the month, and mine is right on this one. But, I don't think it's worth continuing this kind of program just for either of those. ACLD, the Dowling Project, and my internship at the Foley Campaign Headquarters were all worth a whole lot more than this load of shit.
I do apologize for forgetting to get some privacy between me and Fey, and for accidentally complaining about Disney, but that's it.
To start off, while Friday last week was such a good day there, Monday... not so much. We watched some stuff on YouTube about Walt Disney World and Hollywood, did a few wordsearch puzzles, had lunch, and then did pretty much nothing for the rest of my time there (and my bus home was set for only half an hour early before everyone else). Told Mom about it when I got home, and she told me to speak privately to Fey about things and tell her that Disney is not appropriate for a bunch of adults, and we ruled Mondays out of the supposed minimum of three days a week.
Just yesterday, I come for my second session for the week, and one of the staff (don't remember her name) asks me where I was the previous day, and explained to me that I'm actually supposed to come all five days of the week. I spoke to Fey, and the part about anything being private slipped my mind; I just spoke to her right where we were (thankfully, not a whole lot of people there yet), explaining everything I saw wrong with Monday. When class started, I started off by explaining to everyone how inappropriate Disney is for us all in our 20's or so, but a few people said that lots of adults watch Disney movies.
Anyway, the real class began with a fire drill. We went out, lined up near the curb, and came back inside, and then Jushean, who was in charge of the group, started giving a seminar about fire safety. So far, that's a much better use of our time there than watching some Disney bullshit on YouTube. But then, more wordsearch puzzles, and then nothing after we all have lunch, until the last half-hour when we each paired up with someone to get to know each other. During the empty time, I picked up my backpack from the closet, multiple times, in an attempt to leave, only to be stopped each time. Couldn't even hang out in the hallway to pace around (instead of in the room, where I would be stressing people out by doing so).
The only reason I didn't ignore everyone and actually leave, was because I wanted to run my intentions by Mom about dropping out entirely, without any conflict. As it turns out, I might as well have just flat-out left, because last night, she told me that Jushean called her regarding my behavior. Dad overheard us discussing things, and called me over to lecture me alongside Mom. Understandably enough, he became increasingly furious with me. Not gonna go into detail directly about anything he said.
-----
Mom said that part of what Jushean complained to her about was that I complained about Disney. Okay, so that was a little misunderstanding, since Mom did say that I could be the one to "speak up". Furthermore, I will admit that I was being immature, which did justify Jushean and several others ordering me back into the room with everyone else. But, that's beside the point.
Let me make one thing clear that I already mentioned a year ago: Be nice to me, and I'll be nice to you. Get rough with me, and you had better have a damn good reason to be, or else you'd have some real balls to expect me to take your shit lying down. I don't give two fucks if you're my father, one of my friends, or any future employer of mine.
Yes, I deserved to be spoken to and treated like a child for the way I was acting. If you ask me, though, I would have preferred that and any other consequences involved in any given situation, to simply sucking everything up. If you'd like to know, I actually did suck up a few things that happened back at UCP; in particular, when someone set me up with some computer program and monitored me from barely a few inches away from me. I asked him nicely to back away, and he insisted on sitting that fucking close to me. I just did my program, but wished afterwards that I instead got up and stormed out of Bobby's office. That someone orders me to sit near the entrance when I'm walking laps in the halls is justified, but even with having someone invade my personal space, the only reason I didn't stand up for myself is because I was afraid of what Mom and Dad would have to say if I made a scene at a program that they paid for. If that's what happened at any point afterwards, then no, I wouldn't let that kind of fear get in my way.
My problem isn't having been treated like a child. No, no, no, no! This is about me, 1) being expected to give up the time that I spend towards fanfiction and kanji lessons (when I'm not playing video games), 2) to participate in a program, 3) whose main purpose is to socialize me, 4) in a way that I already tried back in high school and found does not work. Once a week would've been fine; three days a week was already pushing it; at five a week, I would expect that my time be spent doing better things than the aforementioned.
Mom did suggest this morning that she and I work on ways to make the program better for me. I told her that I would reach a decision next week, when both of us talk to Fey and Rick about the situation. (Can't go this week, because Mom has a doctor's appointment, and I've been having a cold ever since I got home yesterday.) However, I did write everything down in a notebook, looking past Jushean and several others insisting I stay in the class with everyone, and really analyzing what the hell was wrong with this whole thing, writing down everything I had written in the paragraph above this one. With that, I've pretty much reached a verdict already: Fuck the program! If I've already been written out of it, good! If they're not willing to give me a second chance, not like I even want one anyway.
A shame, too. I would've been glad to suggest some anime to watch on movie day at the end of each month. They also do celebrate birthdays at the end of the month, and mine is right on this one. But, I don't think it's worth continuing this kind of program just for either of those. ACLD, the Dowling Project, and my internship at the Foley Campaign Headquarters were all worth a whole lot more than this load of shit.
I do apologize for forgetting to get some privacy between me and Fey, and for accidentally complaining about Disney, but that's it.