![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Aug. 28th, 2015 06:10 amSo, I've been looking at chapter 4 of Madoka's fic, and things have gotten a bit complicated now.
To start off, there's the fates of Madoka and Homura at the end. The person I commissioned had written for Madoka to become an Esuriens, but as per my original request, I had changed that so that she just gets eaten up instead.
There is also an author's note that I was going to end the chapter on, stating that despite the differences in circumstances involving Witches and Esurientes (or Wraithes, for that matter), everyone who became a Puella Magi in the franchise will have become a Cibus in the fic's continuity, including Yuma Chitose (whom Oriko warns out of making a contract in Extra Story) and Elise (from The Hollow Little Mermaid, due to different actual terms stated between in-game dialogue and the wiki). I didn't explain how they'd actually be different, but did go over it in my head, before deciding that it might actually be more practical to expand the epilogue to actually show how different things would actually be between certain characters. For example, Kazumi is the product specifically of a Witch; it's understandable that she'd still be mentioned by that name (rather than her former name, Michiru Kazusa) in Stars Above despite the absence of Witches, due to simply not having occurred to BHS when he and someone else he worked with were writing that fic, and is something I myself only found out in the YMMV page of Kazumi Magica (under Fridge Brilliance).
So far, the author has agreed to rewrite everything I write first, so that it's easier on anyone's eyes who reads it (given how rushed my own writing tends to be). This has gone on to extend to stuff I rewrite or insert after a certain point in chapter 4. That, in turn, has gone on to include Oriko noticing Madoka at a train station, having a vision of her and Homura in their final battle shortly afterwards, following Homura to Asunaro, and enlisting the help of Michiru and her friends Umika and Kaoru (who were given a cameo even originally). That last part was the only one for which I left some blanks to fill in, mainly so that I can take some time to re-read Kazumi Magica and observe any differences in speech patterns to take into account.
Re-read the first two volumes so far, but along with there being seven girls comprising the Pleiades Saints in all, I can't seem to find any noticeable differences. Not sure if that comes with only reading what's there instead of being able to listen, but with Oriko Magica, I had noticed before that Oriko speaks very formally, while Kirika speaks much more casually. (Then again, this is also true to an extent even with Lucky Star, in which the differences in wording a given point would be much more subtle between Tsukasa, Kagami, and Konata than between any of them and Miyuki. Would be justified with anyone from Suzune Magica, though, since that's still not even due here for another month.)
Finally, I had shared everything relevant about the rest of the franchise with both the author and Chelle, but neither of them are able to help me due to a lack of familiarity with most of it. Asked BHS yesterday to see if he'd be willing to help, while acknowledging his likely lack of interest in the actual fic before saying anything else, but I'm not sure if he'll actually get back to me about it.
To start off, there's the fates of Madoka and Homura at the end. The person I commissioned had written for Madoka to become an Esuriens, but as per my original request, I had changed that so that she just gets eaten up instead.
There is also an author's note that I was going to end the chapter on, stating that despite the differences in circumstances involving Witches and Esurientes (or Wraithes, for that matter), everyone who became a Puella Magi in the franchise will have become a Cibus in the fic's continuity, including Yuma Chitose (whom Oriko warns out of making a contract in Extra Story) and Elise (from The Hollow Little Mermaid, due to different actual terms stated between in-game dialogue and the wiki). I didn't explain how they'd actually be different, but did go over it in my head, before deciding that it might actually be more practical to expand the epilogue to actually show how different things would actually be between certain characters. For example, Kazumi is the product specifically of a Witch; it's understandable that she'd still be mentioned by that name (rather than her former name, Michiru Kazusa) in Stars Above despite the absence of Witches, due to simply not having occurred to BHS when he and someone else he worked with were writing that fic, and is something I myself only found out in the YMMV page of Kazumi Magica (under Fridge Brilliance).
So far, the author has agreed to rewrite everything I write first, so that it's easier on anyone's eyes who reads it (given how rushed my own writing tends to be). This has gone on to extend to stuff I rewrite or insert after a certain point in chapter 4. That, in turn, has gone on to include Oriko noticing Madoka at a train station, having a vision of her and Homura in their final battle shortly afterwards, following Homura to Asunaro, and enlisting the help of Michiru and her friends Umika and Kaoru (who were given a cameo even originally). That last part was the only one for which I left some blanks to fill in, mainly so that I can take some time to re-read Kazumi Magica and observe any differences in speech patterns to take into account.
Re-read the first two volumes so far, but along with there being seven girls comprising the Pleiades Saints in all, I can't seem to find any noticeable differences. Not sure if that comes with only reading what's there instead of being able to listen, but with Oriko Magica, I had noticed before that Oriko speaks very formally, while Kirika speaks much more casually. (Then again, this is also true to an extent even with Lucky Star, in which the differences in wording a given point would be much more subtle between Tsukasa, Kagami, and Konata than between any of them and Miyuki. Would be justified with anyone from Suzune Magica, though, since that's still not even due here for another month.)
Finally, I had shared everything relevant about the rest of the franchise with both the author and Chelle, but neither of them are able to help me due to a lack of familiarity with most of it. Asked BHS yesterday to see if he'd be willing to help, while acknowledging his likely lack of interest in the actual fic before saying anything else, but I'm not sure if he'll actually get back to me about it.