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Oct. 24th, 2017 04:58 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dmxratedAnd yet again, I just had to send Jake another email earlier than I planned on.
Right now, I'm coming to the end of Mother, and running out of steam with the Starbound project. Without Unwilling Service, though, all I have left is Magia Record, which somehow I can only feel is going to feel pointless. Was hoping I'd get a boost out of clearing the air with him, even if we don't actually discuss the story, hoping that enough time had gone by for him to cool off, but it's been more than a whole day since I sent it already.
Mom says he might still feel the same way right now due to stress from dealing with issues at home, but considering how it took a whole year and a middle-man for me to get back in touch with nanashi-no before, it's possible that he really has re-evaluated our relationship and would like not to deal with my fetishes, my fandoms (two of which he outright hates), and my general lack of interest in anything he likes or writes anymore.
To begin with, it was a mistake to get so uptight with him for failing to respond sooner than he did, but how was I supposed to assume he was simply busy instead of ignoring me outright that other time when most of whom I dealt with on Upwork at the time really did cease communication with me? How can I assure myself that maybe he's just busy when it's already been a month with no response since I last emailed him, and when he told me outright just five days earlier that he really didn't intend to respond because I already made my point clear with him by losing it and came off as justifying myself when I apologized in that entry for how much further I had gone beyond cutting off fanfic help?
Right now, I'm coming to the end of Mother, and running out of steam with the Starbound project. Without Unwilling Service, though, all I have left is Magia Record, which somehow I can only feel is going to feel pointless. Was hoping I'd get a boost out of clearing the air with him, even if we don't actually discuss the story, hoping that enough time had gone by for him to cool off, but it's been more than a whole day since I sent it already.
Mom says he might still feel the same way right now due to stress from dealing with issues at home, but considering how it took a whole year and a middle-man for me to get back in touch with nanashi-no before, it's possible that he really has re-evaluated our relationship and would like not to deal with my fetishes, my fandoms (two of which he outright hates), and my general lack of interest in anything he likes or writes anymore.
To begin with, it was a mistake to get so uptight with him for failing to respond sooner than he did, but how was I supposed to assume he was simply busy instead of ignoring me outright that other time when most of whom I dealt with on Upwork at the time really did cease communication with me? How can I assure myself that maybe he's just busy when it's already been a month with no response since I last emailed him, and when he told me outright just five days earlier that he really didn't intend to respond because I already made my point clear with him by losing it and came off as justifying myself when I apologized in that entry for how much further I had gone beyond cutting off fanfic help?