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Nov. 17th, 2017 04:19 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dmxratedMy gym performances this whole past week have been rather half-assed in general, but yesterday, I was barely able to get in two minutes on the treadmill and two machines. Mom urged me to make more of an effort when I went up to her, but instead, I went back to retrieve my sweatshirt and came back to her for the car keys. She got pissed.
She proceeded to lecture me on and off after I came back from depositing some cans and bottles, but later chalked my lack of steam up to not having had any protein since lunch (at 10 AM), even though I didn't have a sugary snack either.
That much is true, too, but in addition to that, I had just gotten started with some stuff I was writing into my notebook, so having had to drop that just for the gym didn't help. It is true that I haven't been going to the gym with Dad lately, but that's another thing: I would like not to feel like a slave to routine. That is, even if I have days off from it, having to anticipate stuff when you're not up for it is not good for one's mental health. (I don't wanna hear anything either about how Mom and Dad make such an effort to do things anyway, because I am not them.)
-----
Regarding the aforementioned stuff in my notebook, that excessive number of characters in Magia Record, and how few of them actually interest me as potential Cibi, has really made me reconsider what I actually want out of the Cibus project, especially as far as pics go.
If I were to commission for any further characters from that, I would narrow my selection down to Manaka, Natsuki, Kokoro, and Alina, before tackling anyone else. I already have a pic of Felicia from before, and she failed to ever actually turn me on. So did half the Pleiades Saints from Kazumi Magica, in the one pic I've commissioned of them.
In fact, aside from the swimsuit pic, I hardly look at anything I've already commissioned for from before. Even apart from Magia Record, all Puellae Magi are unique, but with anything, some aspects or installments will always be more interesting than others.
It's also said that wanting is better than having. How particularly true by now. This all started with an idea I had a year before I commissioned for anything, of the main five being all big and fat while fighting a Witch, one of their traditional enemies. That borrowed from someone else's old shame of a fic, in which Magical Girls dress much less colorfully for battle than in canon. That was also when I had already started a certain Lucky Star fic, where a certain school's entire female population was turned fat while its male population remained untouched, but by that point, I was in the middle of dealing with the trauma of having read Cries Unheard.
It was when I actually commissioned for the first fic, that I would go on to find out about Puella Magi Suzune and Tart Magica, The Hollow Little Mermaid, and a promotional crossover with Divine Gate, several years after having already had heard of Oriko and Kazumi Magica through Stars Above.
Even though that one fic had already fulfilled its primary purpose of giving me something to read, I also desperately wanted pics of all the different Magical Girls as Cibi, a desire only further stoked when I first began reading Suzune, and also volume 2 of Tart, which briefly introduced a particularly interesting then-unnamed Puella Magi, a few days after Christmas that year. However, even though I did bring up my actual preferences with Brian after addressing them on LiveJournal, I still feel that it would be all the more satisfying to "earn" them, by commissioning for the main five first (with each person I do business with), and then giving everyone an equal statistical chance before deciding who gets first dibs. (Pia Undo and Yuma Chitose have both been exceptions to this day; the former was the subject of a test to see how well Noxmoony could assimilate characters from outside the anime stylistically to the main five in their original art style, since she was directly involved with them in her own story, and the latter was for an icon for Starcrossed Sisters.)
Now, let's be honest while saying as little as possible here, and I hope I don't insult anyone here either:
The reason I stopped looking at all those pics, ironically, had to do with Chelle. At one point, I asked her if certain aesthetics of what I have of the Tart mains would outweigh their fetishization enough for her to like, but she still cited, among other things, my idea of what fat people should look like, as one of her reasons not to. It was later, though, that I considered holding out for her to outline for me what might look realistic (when she's ready to do anything, of course), and deciding then which I might like better, before going on to commission for lineups.
(Added in: She isn't going to.)
Right now, though, I honestly don't think I'm all that interested in anyone in particular at the moment, not even from Suzune. Really, though, I'm mostly confused, after having just had some slight interest particularly in Kokoro and Alina. Since I'm about to bring the franchise itself up with Brian this coming week, I thought now might be a good time to commission for whatever I can get relatively cheaply (not from someone like Noxmoony for several hundred dollars; more like $50 from one person like kymyit), but given how long it's already been since I looked much more frequently at anyone I already have, am I actually that interested in anyone else anymore, in either image or prose?
Perhaps it would be best if I created an updated list of who actually interests me. (Here's the original list, just for comparison.)
Puella Magi Oriko Magica:
-Oriko Mikuni
-Kirika Kure
-Yuma Chitose (check)
-Sasa Yuuki
Puella Magi Kazumi Magica: No one in particular in general, even though Umika, Saki, and Satomi interest me in particular in the pic I already have of all seven Pleiades Saints. Maybe that has to do with how they're presented; could that be?
Puella Magi Suzune Magica:
-Suzune Amano
-Arisa Narumi
-Haruka Kanade
-Tsubaki Mikoto
-Kagari Hinata
Puella Magi Tart Magica:
-Jeanne D'Arc (check)
-Pernelle Flamel
Puella Magi Madoka Magica Gaiden: Magia Record:
-Manaka Kurumi
-Natsuki Utsuho
-Kokoro Awane
-Alina Grey
The Hollow Little Mermaid: To be honest, mostly Elise. Maybe because she was the first one presented left-to-right, even though she is one of only four presented rather tidily in that story.
Other:
-Pia Undo (Divine Gate; check)
Well, guess I'll wait until after Brian and I begin discussing the franchise and anything he might do for the Cibus project, before deciding where to actually go from here.
Could this be like my interest in Starbound that keeps renewing and depleting itself, or something like that?
She proceeded to lecture me on and off after I came back from depositing some cans and bottles, but later chalked my lack of steam up to not having had any protein since lunch (at 10 AM), even though I didn't have a sugary snack either.
That much is true, too, but in addition to that, I had just gotten started with some stuff I was writing into my notebook, so having had to drop that just for the gym didn't help. It is true that I haven't been going to the gym with Dad lately, but that's another thing: I would like not to feel like a slave to routine. That is, even if I have days off from it, having to anticipate stuff when you're not up for it is not good for one's mental health. (I don't wanna hear anything either about how Mom and Dad make such an effort to do things anyway, because I am not them.)
-----
Regarding the aforementioned stuff in my notebook, that excessive number of characters in Magia Record, and how few of them actually interest me as potential Cibi, has really made me reconsider what I actually want out of the Cibus project, especially as far as pics go.
If I were to commission for any further characters from that, I would narrow my selection down to Manaka, Natsuki, Kokoro, and Alina, before tackling anyone else. I already have a pic of Felicia from before, and she failed to ever actually turn me on. So did half the Pleiades Saints from Kazumi Magica, in the one pic I've commissioned of them.
In fact, aside from the swimsuit pic, I hardly look at anything I've already commissioned for from before. Even apart from Magia Record, all Puellae Magi are unique, but with anything, some aspects or installments will always be more interesting than others.
It's also said that wanting is better than having. How particularly true by now. This all started with an idea I had a year before I commissioned for anything, of the main five being all big and fat while fighting a Witch, one of their traditional enemies. That borrowed from someone else's old shame of a fic, in which Magical Girls dress much less colorfully for battle than in canon. That was also when I had already started a certain Lucky Star fic, where a certain school's entire female population was turned fat while its male population remained untouched, but by that point, I was in the middle of dealing with the trauma of having read Cries Unheard.
It was when I actually commissioned for the first fic, that I would go on to find out about Puella Magi Suzune and Tart Magica, The Hollow Little Mermaid, and a promotional crossover with Divine Gate, several years after having already had heard of Oriko and Kazumi Magica through Stars Above.
Even though that one fic had already fulfilled its primary purpose of giving me something to read, I also desperately wanted pics of all the different Magical Girls as Cibi, a desire only further stoked when I first began reading Suzune, and also volume 2 of Tart, which briefly introduced a particularly interesting then-unnamed Puella Magi, a few days after Christmas that year. However, even though I did bring up my actual preferences with Brian after addressing them on LiveJournal, I still feel that it would be all the more satisfying to "earn" them, by commissioning for the main five first (with each person I do business with), and then giving everyone an equal statistical chance before deciding who gets first dibs. (Pia Undo and Yuma Chitose have both been exceptions to this day; the former was the subject of a test to see how well Noxmoony could assimilate characters from outside the anime stylistically to the main five in their original art style, since she was directly involved with them in her own story, and the latter was for an icon for Starcrossed Sisters.)
Now, let's be honest while saying as little as possible here, and I hope I don't insult anyone here either:
The reason I stopped looking at all those pics, ironically, had to do with Chelle. At one point, I asked her if certain aesthetics of what I have of the Tart mains would outweigh their fetishization enough for her to like, but she still cited, among other things, my idea of what fat people should look like, as one of her reasons not to. It was later, though, that I considered holding out for her to outline for me what might look realistic (when she's ready to do anything, of course), and deciding then which I might like better, before going on to commission for lineups.
(Added in: She isn't going to.)
Right now, though, I honestly don't think I'm all that interested in anyone in particular at the moment, not even from Suzune. Really, though, I'm mostly confused, after having just had some slight interest particularly in Kokoro and Alina. Since I'm about to bring the franchise itself up with Brian this coming week, I thought now might be a good time to commission for whatever I can get relatively cheaply (not from someone like Noxmoony for several hundred dollars; more like $50 from one person like kymyit), but given how long it's already been since I looked much more frequently at anyone I already have, am I actually that interested in anyone else anymore, in either image or prose?
Perhaps it would be best if I created an updated list of who actually interests me. (Here's the original list, just for comparison.)
Puella Magi Oriko Magica:
-Oriko Mikuni
-Kirika Kure
-Yuma Chitose (check)
-Sasa Yuuki
Puella Magi Kazumi Magica: No one in particular in general, even though Umika, Saki, and Satomi interest me in particular in the pic I already have of all seven Pleiades Saints. Maybe that has to do with how they're presented; could that be?
Puella Magi Suzune Magica:
-Suzune Amano
-Arisa Narumi
-Haruka Kanade
-Tsubaki Mikoto
-Kagari Hinata
Puella Magi Tart Magica:
-Jeanne D'Arc (check)
-Pernelle Flamel
Puella Magi Madoka Magica Gaiden: Magia Record:
-Manaka Kurumi
-Natsuki Utsuho
-Kokoro Awane
-Alina Grey
The Hollow Little Mermaid: To be honest, mostly Elise. Maybe because she was the first one presented left-to-right, even though she is one of only four presented rather tidily in that story.
Other:
-Pia Undo (Divine Gate; check)
Well, guess I'll wait until after Brian and I begin discussing the franchise and anything he might do for the Cibus project, before deciding where to actually go from here.
Could this be like my interest in Starbound that keeps renewing and depleting itself, or something like that?