Like, where's my f***ing mail?

Someone already knocked on Phyllis's door, and it turned out that there was no mail all weekend. Mom told me that the reason there was no mail today was because today was a national holiday, to mourn for someone named Gerald Ford. However, neither of us could understand why there was no mail Saturday, which was neither New Year's Day nor New Year's Eve. It's as if everyone at the post office arbitrarily decided to have one more day off than they were supposed to. Mom told me that the postman might've been sick; maybe it isn't like a school, where if a teacher needs to be absent for one day, someone else can take his/her place. I just hope it's not like that Blondie comic where the postman answers Dagwood that he decided to play a game and only go to every other mailbox the previous day.