(no subject)

Showed Mom what panned out into yet another rant yesterday, and needless to say, she had another fit of frustration before calming down and discussing relevant parts of my issues with Dowling. Originally, I meant to explore why I perceived more pressure from her and Dad to fulfill everything prescribed in all my syllabi each semester when she tells me that, in truth, she's already satisfied that I managed to graduate. Certain things tell me otherwise, not only while I was still attending school, but the disappointment Dad expressed about me having skipped half my assignments and missing out on a huge portion of my education after overhearing something I said to Brian on New Year's of '12 (didn't actually mention in my notebook; only while we were talking), as if graduating was only half of what he wanted of me.

Coming off from that, I went on at Mom's request to write down everything that continues to bother me, listing them in only one or two sentences each, to show to my new therapist that she's still waiting to hear back from.

After a lot of consideration, I've decided at this point to bring this whole thing up with Dad once and for all once I have my first actual session. I'm pretty sure he'll want to know how that goes, and even if none of my full-blown tirades end up becoming relevant, I would at least show him that list, along with a list of things I want(ed) to do both back then and nowadays for actual fulfillment.