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dmxratedFor today's set of Co7G entries, I rented Space Station Silicon Valley on Wednesday, and Uncle Robby brought Adam for Mom to take care of on Saturday.
July 14, 1999
Lucy was sure glad to see us when Mom and Dad brought her home.
Today, I started over with Super Mario RPG, but we decided to rent something from Blockbuster. At first, I was gonna ask them if they had Wild Arms and a Playstation, but then I decided to get Space Station Silicon Valley instead.
My objective in Space Station Silicon Valley is to kill only what I need to kill, just like the Iroquois. However, it turns out that it’s not possible to kill a bear in The Engine Room with a Fox. It kept killing me, and only got killed once when it went after a Rat. You need the Racing Dog to get it.
Every time me or Brian beats a level in Space Station Silicon Valley, I sing along with the last five notes of the Stage Clear song, saying “Doin’ the beat, yeeeeaaaahhhhh!” Brian sometimes sings along as well.
July 17, 1999
Uncle Robby brought Adam over this morning, and then left. Mom brought him into my room saying “Guess who this is…” We then went to the back of the house, and we kids noticed that he was wearing pajamas that had bears in different uniforms and said “When I grow up, I want to be…” everywhere.
Brian found out a cheat in Nintendo Power for Space Station Silicon Valley that lets you go right to Big Celebration Parade. I played that level, and beat it tonight.
Back to the present.
Mom and Dad got a toaster-oven, and we had pikelets for breakfast yesterday.
-----
Later on, while I was playing Super Mario RPG, Mom came up into the apartment and asked me if I should see Vincent less for the rest of the summer. Most of the time, I go out for a drive with him, and I come home pissed off after he gives me one more lecture after the last about how important it is to make friends. Most kids make friends because they want to, their parents have to set curfews, and if they need to punish them, they forbid them from seeing said friends. That's one of the points behind Zits. On the other hand, Vinnie told me that with Taylor and Mark, their parents had to force them to be social, so to him, my parents apparently never challenged my autistic limitations.
Forced them to be social? Okay, let me say one thing: Even though Chelle was never even allowed to have video games, he told me that for autistics, having a rich social life was the antithesis of living a fulfilling life.
I'm not gonna say anything more about what Vinnie said to me. Whatever he does say in any given lecture is hardly different from what he would've said the previous time. I have my job plan figured out already, I'm teaching myself Japanese (from three books, not from a game), I have Jake and Chelle to talk to online, everything else I'll need comes from material things called video games. End of story.
So, I've told Mom that I've decided that I should just stop seeing Vinnie entirely until school begins.
-----
Moving on, last night, all seven of us went to the Pita House Deluxe for Grandma's birthday. That place is much further away from our home than the regular Pita House. We talked about all kinds of things on the way there and at the place, and we ordered some dishes to share amongst all of us, rather than just getting one dish for each person. Well, me and Brian got our own Mediterranean Burgers, and I was the only one to get baklavah (everyone else was too full for it after the main course).
Grandma Barbara and Aunt Marie left before I woke up, but Grandma called while I was typing up this blog entry. She asked me if Mom and Dad were awake yet, but even though I'm the only one awake so far, I did offer to put them on for her.
July 14, 1999
Lucy was sure glad to see us when Mom and Dad brought her home.
Today, I started over with Super Mario RPG, but we decided to rent something from Blockbuster. At first, I was gonna ask them if they had Wild Arms and a Playstation, but then I decided to get Space Station Silicon Valley instead.
My objective in Space Station Silicon Valley is to kill only what I need to kill, just like the Iroquois. However, it turns out that it’s not possible to kill a bear in The Engine Room with a Fox. It kept killing me, and only got killed once when it went after a Rat. You need the Racing Dog to get it.
Every time me or Brian beats a level in Space Station Silicon Valley, I sing along with the last five notes of the Stage Clear song, saying “Doin’ the beat, yeeeeaaaahhhhh!” Brian sometimes sings along as well.
July 17, 1999
Uncle Robby brought Adam over this morning, and then left. Mom brought him into my room saying “Guess who this is…” We then went to the back of the house, and we kids noticed that he was wearing pajamas that had bears in different uniforms and said “When I grow up, I want to be…” everywhere.
Brian found out a cheat in Nintendo Power for Space Station Silicon Valley that lets you go right to Big Celebration Parade. I played that level, and beat it tonight.
Back to the present.
Mom and Dad got a toaster-oven, and we had pikelets for breakfast yesterday.
-----
Later on, while I was playing Super Mario RPG, Mom came up into the apartment and asked me if I should see Vincent less for the rest of the summer. Most of the time, I go out for a drive with him, and I come home pissed off after he gives me one more lecture after the last about how important it is to make friends. Most kids make friends because they want to, their parents have to set curfews, and if they need to punish them, they forbid them from seeing said friends. That's one of the points behind Zits. On the other hand, Vinnie told me that with Taylor and Mark, their parents had to force them to be social, so to him, my parents apparently never challenged my autistic limitations.
Forced them to be social? Okay, let me say one thing: Even though Chelle was never even allowed to have video games, he told me that for autistics, having a rich social life was the antithesis of living a fulfilling life.
I'm not gonna say anything more about what Vinnie said to me. Whatever he does say in any given lecture is hardly different from what he would've said the previous time. I have my job plan figured out already, I'm teaching myself Japanese (from three books, not from a game), I have Jake and Chelle to talk to online, everything else I'll need comes from material things called video games. End of story.
So, I've told Mom that I've decided that I should just stop seeing Vinnie entirely until school begins.
-----
Moving on, last night, all seven of us went to the Pita House Deluxe for Grandma's birthday. That place is much further away from our home than the regular Pita House. We talked about all kinds of things on the way there and at the place, and we ordered some dishes to share amongst all of us, rather than just getting one dish for each person. Well, me and Brian got our own Mediterranean Burgers, and I was the only one to get baklavah (everyone else was too full for it after the main course).
Grandma Barbara and Aunt Marie left before I woke up, but Grandma called while I was typing up this blog entry. She asked me if Mom and Dad were awake yet, but even though I'm the only one awake so far, I did offer to put them on for her.
no subject
Date: 2019-07-12 02:27 pm (UTC)Chelle was never even allowed to have video games
Well, my mom got over her 'video games are evil' period before we even found out I'm autistic, at that time though I already had plenty of other things to hold my interest. Kinda confuzzled how that relates to Autism here.
Anyway, this Vincent sounds like a whole line of people me and my mom have dealt with. I really didn't get along with the last one and we asked for a transfer to someone else, that was denied because the person we asked admitted that the social aid workers maneuver of the organizations that provide such help is driven by internal competition. Their chances of promotion or whatever are higher the more kids they
helpmake more normal, having it on their file that someone wanted a transfer cause they didn't like them would be bad news. This isn't about helping autists and other 'troubled children' (as they like to call it) actually cope with their differences, it's about 'fixing' them. If you were to obey and try to make more friends they reached their goal, they won't care when it doesn't work out and makes you unhappy.no subject
Date: 2019-07-12 02:33 pm (UTC)Video games would be the other contributing factor as to why I don't make friends easily. It's what I spend most of my free time doing when I "could be doing one of a million other things", as one would put it, and while I'm gaming, the rest of the world practically disappears to me.
By the way, I should note that Vincent claims that the Dowling Project is not an indoctrination program, that he simply wants me to have the option to make real-life friends in case I ever change my mind, that I'm still free to reject the idea that making friends in real life is one of the most important things in life, and even that I won't be in the Project for much longer after I graduate from college. This doesn't make his lectures any less annoying.
As for Taylor and Mark, next time I see them, I should ask them whether they actually enjoy being social or they're just faking it to provide the illusion of their parents having reached their goals. And with you, I should ask whether or not you had friends in the real world, and whether or not you genuinely enjoyed their company. I've had a number of years of experience with Matthew during my teen years, and while he was a nice guy (save for his acts of teasing me), most of the time, I didn't enjoy having him over or having to visit him. Usually, either he called me or Mom asked me to call him.
It's one thing that we gotta teach all little kids to eat the right stuff in the right amounts, to say no to drugs, to not talk to strangers, and whatever else you can think of. Those aren't things they will teach themselves, and they're different from being told what you can and can't enjoy based on the concept of "fitting in". And as for being told at my age that I spend way too much time gaming and that I'm "wasting my life away"? That's not for anyone to decide except myself.
no subject
Date: 2019-07-12 02:38 pm (UTC)Oh, autists can enjoy social life (I never said they didn't) and there are varying degrees of how autistic someone is that influence to what extent social interaction is successful. My mom has Aspergers too and she's constantly out trying to be social, she gets depressed if she doesn't have someone to talk to in fact .... it's just that she sucks at the rules, can't learn them by nature, ends up getting hurt in the process and people always walk out on her in the end.
When I said what I said there, I meant that in order to really fit in and have all those connections and obligations that people refer to when they say "rich social life" you need to deny so much of yourself it's not worth it, cause the brain structure isn't going to change and the stress will always be there. Rich social life is for people who go out and want to make 'friends' as in connections, and maybe they'll become real friends or not, but looking for friends as opposed to letting things just develop doesn't work well for many normal people, let alone for autists, since real friendship can't be forced.
provide the illusion of their parents
Parents? I was talking about the social workers, the type that tries to influence you to agree with them. Also, it's perfectly possible to fake things to yourself as well.
I should ask whether or not you had friends in the real world, and whether or not you genuinely enjoyed their company.
Yes, in my early years I sometimes played with neighbor kids (that is, the ones that didn't fit in either with the groups). Later on school I was friends with the other class outcasts, so I had one friend on the last base school and two friends in the first middle school, but I only met them during school time and we didn't mutually visit each other or do out of school things, we just talked about stories we wrote, Pokemon trading cards and Dragonball Z, one of them also was a Digimon fan. They were fellow geeks that shared very specific interests with me, which is in fact how we got in contact (we noticed we all had Pokemon trading cards if I recall correctly). It would not be considered a social life though. During that time there also was someone who occasionally came along with then-friends of my mother, but I never looked forward to that as I never really knew what to do then.
Last, I also was friends with some young kids across the street, I really liked them and interacting with young children is much easier than with other teens and additionally their cultural backdrop made them far more openminded and pleasant to be around than the other children in the neighborhood, who treated us like filth.
At the moment, I have no real-world friends (one of them has become an Internet-only friend however, due to moving around) and absolutely no social life and I'm happier than I ever was when surrounded by lots of people I really had no idea what to begin with, and sometimes I'm lonely, but 'being social' with people who don't understand or want to understand has never been able to fix that.
Short version : hanging out with the other weirdos, yes. Social life and the associated obligations, perfect fail.
no subject
Date: 2019-07-12 02:43 pm (UTC)Anyway, since you took the time to describe your social life, I suppose I might as well describe my own as well:
3rd grade: Randomly chose someone named Steven as my "best friend". However, whenever I went to his house, all I would do most of the time was play some of his games... alone. Mom and Dad would then lecture me about how rude it is to go to someone's house and not interact with them.
4th grade: Chose Jason and Aimee as my "best friends" that year. Never actually visited them. They only visited me one time each during the summer.
5th grade: Not much to say.
6th grade: Made "friends" with this then-2nd-grader named Dennis. However, he often made up excuses as to why he "couldn't" play, and one time tried to throw some of my Christmas presents that I showed him down the gutter. After a number of attempts, Mom and Dad finally got through to me that Dennis didn't want anything to do with me, and I stopped being his friend during May.
7th grade: This is the first year during which I would visit Matthew or have him come to visit. I actually did enjoy it at the time, and on the sidelines, I sometimes chatted with kids actually at my school.
8th through 11th grades: Still with Matthew, but this is where it starts to suck. All we were doing most of the time was either sharing games that didn't interest me or just watching the other person surf the Internet. After I got Snowboard Kids 2 for my 16th birthday, that's what we played whenever he came over, and it was okay, but the number of hours I spent with him was still too many.
Meanwhile, during 10th and 11th grades, I chose students from each class to trade phone numbers with, would ring them each weekend, and no one was available. During lunch, I would try to join in on a mass conversation in progress, but couldn't keep track of what anyone was saying.
12th grade: Stopped collecting phone numbers and trying to join conversations, after thinking to myself, "Why am I trying to expand my social life if I'm not even enjoying my time with Matthew?" On the other hand, Mom and I agreed to cut the number of hours I'd spend with Matthew, and I started enjoying my time with him more.
After I finished that year of school, I paid him one last visit to his house. However, he did send me two emails (only the first of which I answered), before moving to North Carolina.
After high school is where my real-world social life pretty much ended and my Internet-based social life began. Started with someone who went by the name Adalia Glenys, who commented on a Mon Colle Knights fic that I hosted on Fanfiction.net (and have long since removed). Since then, we became AIM buddies, and had six conversations about MCK in one year. However, after the last convo and a few email exchanges that followed, she mysteriously disappeared.
Shortly after Adalia left, along comes Jake, who responded to a ficchallenge that I hosted on AdultFanFiction.net. To this day, he's the person I chat with the most.
Meanwhile, I've had a handful of minor contacts on AIM since I started to seriously use it, but I'm not gonna get into detail about those. However, a year ago, I did get back in touch with Matthew, after finding his new phone number on Whitepages.com. I've had three conversations across the phone with him since then, and I really enjoyed each one of them.
no subject
Date: 2019-07-12 02:44 pm (UTC)You put friend between quotation marks often, I assume that means you don't consider them real friends?
On a funny sidenote, Adalia Glenys is the reason I gave MCK a (second) chance long ago. I saw a comment of hers somewhere, where she mentioned some changes regarding the angels of MCK (which was my only interest in the show back then), this prompted me to try and figure out other things that were changed till I eventually mentally separated the whole of the dub voice overs from the images, and that was the point I became an actual fan of the show.
Anyway, people often disappear from the face of the Internet, usually when real life gets distracting or they grow too old for fandoms.
no subject
Date: 2019-07-12 02:44 pm (UTC)About Adalia, I should have noted that she did make an appearance one time on the lj-community Rokumon Sekai (which she started), to specify that her job requires her to sit at a computer the whole time, which is why she wants nothing to do with one at home. (Quite by coincidence, such is also the case with my uncle Ray.)
no subject
Date: 2019-07-12 02:38 pm (UTC)Oh, and word to that, if it doesn't feel like a waste then it's not a waste. People who say that as well as the 'you need to have a social life' somehow never are able to name any real benefits to it either.