Kill Your Darlings...
Sep. 9th, 2013 08:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dmxratedRight now, an isolated scene in Starbound has just come up between me and Chelle for the second time thus far. So far, it has no real bearing on the plot because I don't even know what most of the plot even will be and am just making stuff up as I go along.
Was hoping not to have to write this here, but here's the big picture in the following cut:
In the beginning of episode 23 of Mon Colle Knights, Rokuna senses Mondo dreaming of cheating on her, and gets pissed off and flings some kind of pie she cooked up in his face, which starts a dispute that carries into the trip to Rokumon Sekai for that episode. From what Chelle's told me before, he wasn't doing anything perverted, and dreams in general are an emotional experience, which would have been what triggered Rokuna's sixth sense.
The scene I brought up with Chelle consists of Rokuna getting pissed off at Daví for having perverted thoughts about at least one of the girls he's been traveling with. (And yes, Konata, being much more open about her thoughts regarding Miyuki, would have expressed similar thoughts about Rokuna beforehand and consequently pissed her off.) Originally, what would have happened is that Rokuna would have done something violent to Daví, and then get called out for it by Kagami while Miyuki assures him that what he fantasizes about is okay to do so so long as he keeps it to himself.
So what does this have to do with anything? Well, the end of the second-to-last chapter (the last one will be very brief) was going to have the party telling their whole story to everyone they've known back in Japan. Chelle suggested I end the actual chapter right before they start recapping, since a recap of even just the beginning and end of things would be very brief would be redundant, but here's what I still feel would be a waste not to write anywhere:
Originally, I would've had Rokuna and Kagami describe the beginning of their experiences, and then cut all the way to when the whole party describes their visit to Philosoma. The final battle involves some very bad things that Bosspider does to Yutaka, enough to set both Konata and Yutaka to tears before Minami joins and describes her role in things after the goddess Mikami gives her the power to step in. Given how normally untalkative Minami is, it would make for a dramatic scene when she talks for such a prolonged amount of time... followed by some comic relief when Hiyori starts having perverted thoughts about shipping Yutaka and Minami and subsequently berates herself for it (a recurring gag in the anime). Miyuki senses this, and asks her if anything is the matter.
Here is where Daví's above-described scene comes in: While the actual scene would cut away after that, anyone who takes Daví's scene into account might just figure out that, offpage, Miyuki will assure Hiyori that there is nothing wrong with what she thinks to herself about or draws personally, and that her friends have no business going through her personal artwork when she leaves the room (something they did at least once), before having a word with Yutaka, Minami, and Patricia. Can't really place a finger on why, but somehow, I think this actually would work better offpage than written out (even in supplementary material such as a linked blog entry). Y'know, as Fridge Brilliance.
Was hoping not to have to write this here, but here's the big picture in the following cut:
In the beginning of episode 23 of Mon Colle Knights, Rokuna senses Mondo dreaming of cheating on her, and gets pissed off and flings some kind of pie she cooked up in his face, which starts a dispute that carries into the trip to Rokumon Sekai for that episode. From what Chelle's told me before, he wasn't doing anything perverted, and dreams in general are an emotional experience, which would have been what triggered Rokuna's sixth sense.
The scene I brought up with Chelle consists of Rokuna getting pissed off at Daví for having perverted thoughts about at least one of the girls he's been traveling with. (And yes, Konata, being much more open about her thoughts regarding Miyuki, would have expressed similar thoughts about Rokuna beforehand and consequently pissed her off.) Originally, what would have happened is that Rokuna would have done something violent to Daví, and then get called out for it by Kagami while Miyuki assures him that what he fantasizes about is okay to do so so long as he keeps it to himself.
So what does this have to do with anything? Well, the end of the second-to-last chapter (the last one will be very brief) was going to have the party telling their whole story to everyone they've known back in Japan. Chelle suggested I end the actual chapter right before they start recapping, since a recap of even just the beginning and end of things would be very brief would be redundant, but here's what I still feel would be a waste not to write anywhere:
Originally, I would've had Rokuna and Kagami describe the beginning of their experiences, and then cut all the way to when the whole party describes their visit to Philosoma. The final battle involves some very bad things that Bosspider does to Yutaka, enough to set both Konata and Yutaka to tears before Minami joins and describes her role in things after the goddess Mikami gives her the power to step in. Given how normally untalkative Minami is, it would make for a dramatic scene when she talks for such a prolonged amount of time... followed by some comic relief when Hiyori starts having perverted thoughts about shipping Yutaka and Minami and subsequently berates herself for it (a recurring gag in the anime). Miyuki senses this, and asks her if anything is the matter.
Here is where Daví's above-described scene comes in: While the actual scene would cut away after that, anyone who takes Daví's scene into account might just figure out that, offpage, Miyuki will assure Hiyori that there is nothing wrong with what she thinks to herself about or draws personally, and that her friends have no business going through her personal artwork when she leaves the room (something they did at least once), before having a word with Yutaka, Minami, and Patricia. Can't really place a finger on why, but somehow, I think this actually would work better offpage than written out (even in supplementary material such as a linked blog entry). Y'know, as Fridge Brilliance.