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Sep. 20th, 2013 07:39 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dmxratedFinally wrote the whole scene yesterday. Jake had a few things to say about it after I emailed it to him, and we also briefly discussed something that it, along with that scene between Davi and Rokuna, could lead up to. Here's what he's had to say:
Normally this kind of situation leads to a moral where the one who doesn't trust people learns how to trust them.
I say, let's flip this around, because it's not necessarily the better lesson.
It's Davi who has to learn to trust people *less* - that is, to not just trust people simply because they treat him nicely or finds them pretty.
Or something like that.
Chelle, even though I wouldn't reccomend the following passage to you, I would appreciate your input on the idea above.
Anyway, the following scene takes place on a Long Island beach called Smith Point, after the party is separated from one another. Davi, without telepathy with which to locate anyone, has decided to simply recline there for the time being until someone finds him.
"So, Davi-n," said Konata, standing over Davi as he reclined on the sand. Mind telling me what's on your mind?"
"Er, n-nothing," said the boy, beginning to blush.
"I'll bet something is. Or rather, someone."
"None of your business."
The girl knelt down.
"Thinking about Miyuki-san, by any chance?"
"S-shut up!"
"I'll bet you aaaaa-rrrreeeee!" sang the girl, while waving her finger over his bulging, speedo-clad crotch. At this point, the boy's whole face was red with embarrassment. "Don't worry, I can make it extra-fun for you."
Only a second later did the boy see a mental image of Miyuki completely naked, except for her glasses, and using her arms to cover herself the best she could, obviously completely embarrassed. Her breasts, already quite large in real life, were several times even bigger than normal.
"She's so cute when she's embarrassed like that, isn't she?" said Konata, while Davi panted profusely. "How about Rokuna-san?"
A certain chocolate-haired girl appeared alongside the pinkette, also naked and expanded, but not nearly as mortified.
"Yuki-chan," said Rokuna. "Why so embarrassed?"
The meganekko merely whimpered in response.
"Look at him, barely wearing anything while his thing's all happy! Don't you just want someone like him feeling you up?"
"Don't look at meeeeeeee!" squealed the pink-haired girl as the brunette edged up to the boy while he stroked himself.
"I know I sure do!" She then grabbed both his wrists and thrust his hands onto her breasts, giving him an endless pleasure that he would normally be forbidden and wasn't enough of a perv to so much as ask for.
"Hot enough for ya!?" said Konata, as the boy gasped in endless pleasure.
Davi, normally one to keep his hands and eyes to himself, finally decided that the blue-haired girl was just asking to be felt up, and got up off the sand. He didn't care that she had barely any chestage to speak of.
Catch me if you can!" she teased, before running off.
Along the beach he gave chase. She looked behind every few seconds to see if he was still pursuing her. Neither of them came close to tiring out; they just ran on...
and on...
and on...
and on, until...
"OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW" shrieked Konata, upon stepping on a glass beer bottle. "Owowowowowowowowow-owwww-hwhwhwhwhwhwwwwww."
"OH, CRAP!" screamed Davi. "Are you alright!?"
The girl was clutching her foot with her bare hands in a futile attempt to keep the blood from leaking out. Unfortunately for them, Rokuna and Miyuki were the only ones among them who knew PK Healing. If there was a lifeguard on duty anywhere around them, she would have been able to summon him over to assist her. But, of course, the summer was long over, hence why the beach was so empty. Neither of them had their cell phones on them either, and even if they did, the emergency number here was different from in their home countries anyway.
The boy grimaced at the only option he had left before heading back for their stuff. His swimsuit was the only article of clothing he had on. His face turned red and he squinted furiously as he removed it to use as a makeshift bandage. Good thing for him that the girl was in too much pain to bother gawking at his now-naked member, especially in such a state as it was in from all the amount of stimulation she had given him psychically. Didn't prevent her from becoming shocked or blushing, though.
"Hang in there, I'll go get our stuff and treat you," said the boy, as his friend panted heavily.
He ran back as fast as he could. Having been partially worn out didn't help either of them. Coming back was the longest, both from fatigue and the slowing of time due to the situation they were in. He also hoped like hell that there really wasn't anyone else on the beach, not even in the distance, who could see him in his state of undress. Oh god, if there was, he hoped that at least they couldn't or wouldn't take a picture of him completely nude and post it on Facebook or Tumblr for all to see. Normally, no one with any respect for himself would ever dream of being seen like that in public, but he wasn't inconsiderate enough to leave his blue-haired friend alone to deal with her injury herself.
"WHAT THE HELL TOOK YOU SO LONG!?" shrieked Konata as the boy returned while clutching his stomach and panting.
"Shut up and let me help you," wheezed Davi.
-----
If there was one good thing, it's that he did know first-aid, and was able to treat the girl's wound all by himself. That, he made a priority of, before he'd finally put on some clothes.
"Thanks, Davi-n," said Konata, becoming rational again at this point.
"Good thing I used to go to boy scouts," said Davi.
"That's actually pretty ironic, now that you're travelling with a bunch of girls!"
"It is, come to think of it," said the boy, as he turned to the bag containing their clothes. Just then, said bag was lifted off the ground telekinetically.
"Uh-uhhhh," said Konata.
"The hell!" said Davi, as the bag rose out of his reach.
"You still owe me one for making me wait here forever," she teased. "Besides, you're so cute when you're naked like that."
"Is this how you thank me, after I embarrassed and wore myself out for your sake? Just think what Kagami would do if she were here."
"I know. If she were here, I'd totally play this game with her too."
"Whatever. Just drop the bag and let me get dressed already."
Only a moment later, she let it fall... on his head.
"That wasn't funny," said the boy, as he picked up some clothes to finally put on as the girl snickered.
Normally this kind of situation leads to a moral where the one who doesn't trust people learns how to trust them.
I say, let's flip this around, because it's not necessarily the better lesson.
It's Davi who has to learn to trust people *less* - that is, to not just trust people simply because they treat him nicely or finds them pretty.
Or something like that.
Chelle, even though I wouldn't reccomend the following passage to you, I would appreciate your input on the idea above.
Anyway, the following scene takes place on a Long Island beach called Smith Point, after the party is separated from one another. Davi, without telepathy with which to locate anyone, has decided to simply recline there for the time being until someone finds him.
"So, Davi-n," said Konata, standing over Davi as he reclined on the sand. Mind telling me what's on your mind?"
"Er, n-nothing," said the boy, beginning to blush.
"I'll bet something is. Or rather, someone."
"None of your business."
The girl knelt down.
"Thinking about Miyuki-san, by any chance?"
"S-shut up!"
"I'll bet you aaaaa-rrrreeeee!" sang the girl, while waving her finger over his bulging, speedo-clad crotch. At this point, the boy's whole face was red with embarrassment. "Don't worry, I can make it extra-fun for you."
Only a second later did the boy see a mental image of Miyuki completely naked, except for her glasses, and using her arms to cover herself the best she could, obviously completely embarrassed. Her breasts, already quite large in real life, were several times even bigger than normal.
"She's so cute when she's embarrassed like that, isn't she?" said Konata, while Davi panted profusely. "How about Rokuna-san?"
A certain chocolate-haired girl appeared alongside the pinkette, also naked and expanded, but not nearly as mortified.
"Yuki-chan," said Rokuna. "Why so embarrassed?"
The meganekko merely whimpered in response.
"Look at him, barely wearing anything while his thing's all happy! Don't you just want someone like him feeling you up?"
"Don't look at meeeeeeee!" squealed the pink-haired girl as the brunette edged up to the boy while he stroked himself.
"I know I sure do!" She then grabbed both his wrists and thrust his hands onto her breasts, giving him an endless pleasure that he would normally be forbidden and wasn't enough of a perv to so much as ask for.
"Hot enough for ya!?" said Konata, as the boy gasped in endless pleasure.
Davi, normally one to keep his hands and eyes to himself, finally decided that the blue-haired girl was just asking to be felt up, and got up off the sand. He didn't care that she had barely any chestage to speak of.
Catch me if you can!" she teased, before running off.
Along the beach he gave chase. She looked behind every few seconds to see if he was still pursuing her. Neither of them came close to tiring out; they just ran on...
and on...
and on...
and on, until...
"OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW" shrieked Konata, upon stepping on a glass beer bottle. "Owowowowowowowowow-owwww-hwhwhwhwhwhwwwwww."
"OH, CRAP!" screamed Davi. "Are you alright!?"
The girl was clutching her foot with her bare hands in a futile attempt to keep the blood from leaking out. Unfortunately for them, Rokuna and Miyuki were the only ones among them who knew PK Healing. If there was a lifeguard on duty anywhere around them, she would have been able to summon him over to assist her. But, of course, the summer was long over, hence why the beach was so empty. Neither of them had their cell phones on them either, and even if they did, the emergency number here was different from in their home countries anyway.
The boy grimaced at the only option he had left before heading back for their stuff. His swimsuit was the only article of clothing he had on. His face turned red and he squinted furiously as he removed it to use as a makeshift bandage. Good thing for him that the girl was in too much pain to bother gawking at his now-naked member, especially in such a state as it was in from all the amount of stimulation she had given him psychically. Didn't prevent her from becoming shocked or blushing, though.
"Hang in there, I'll go get our stuff and treat you," said the boy, as his friend panted heavily.
He ran back as fast as he could. Having been partially worn out didn't help either of them. Coming back was the longest, both from fatigue and the slowing of time due to the situation they were in. He also hoped like hell that there really wasn't anyone else on the beach, not even in the distance, who could see him in his state of undress. Oh god, if there was, he hoped that at least they couldn't or wouldn't take a picture of him completely nude and post it on Facebook or Tumblr for all to see. Normally, no one with any respect for himself would ever dream of being seen like that in public, but he wasn't inconsiderate enough to leave his blue-haired friend alone to deal with her injury herself.
"WHAT THE HELL TOOK YOU SO LONG!?" shrieked Konata as the boy returned while clutching his stomach and panting.
"Shut up and let me help you," wheezed Davi.
-----
If there was one good thing, it's that he did know first-aid, and was able to treat the girl's wound all by himself. That, he made a priority of, before he'd finally put on some clothes.
"Thanks, Davi-n," said Konata, becoming rational again at this point.
"Good thing I used to go to boy scouts," said Davi.
"That's actually pretty ironic, now that you're travelling with a bunch of girls!"
"It is, come to think of it," said the boy, as he turned to the bag containing their clothes. Just then, said bag was lifted off the ground telekinetically.
"Uh-uhhhh," said Konata.
"The hell!" said Davi, as the bag rose out of his reach.
"You still owe me one for making me wait here forever," she teased. "Besides, you're so cute when you're naked like that."
"Is this how you thank me, after I embarrassed and wore myself out for your sake? Just think what Kagami would do if she were here."
"I know. If she were here, I'd totally play this game with her too."
"Whatever. Just drop the bag and let me get dressed already."
Only a moment later, she let it fall... on his head.
"That wasn't funny," said the boy, as he picked up some clothes to finally put on as the girl snickered.
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no subject
Date: 2013-09-21 02:45 am (UTC)WARNING: Further fic spoilers (nothing sexual now, though)
Date: 2013-09-21 04:45 pm (UTC)At some point, Konata would mention that, when she first attended Ryouou High, she actually hated Miyuki for until she found herself able to trust her. Said hate stemmed from a secret organization within the school known as the Hunt Club, an idea which I got from chapter 8 of this fic called Bonds:
Konata continued regardless of Kagami's objection to the cold reaction to Miyuki's kindness. "I hated her because she came from the upscale side of the student body. The upscale demographic of the school has this secret club that they called The Hunt Club and its sole purpose was to haze students they saw as 'lesser' or unworthy of going to Ryoo. It's not one of those clubs that humiliates a student and then posts the results or reactions online because then it's not only public knowledge, it's incriminating knowledge, which shows how smart these punks are. As you know, Ryoo has some very distinguished alumni."
Miyuki nodded. "I was aware of that, yes. Are…are you saying that these people…"
"It's all about status." Konata quickly finished.
"But…but I never heard of such a grotesque club." Miyuki said with rare frustration in her voice.
Konata nodded. "I know. It's because the others who are in it thought you were too kind and too accepting of others to be in it so they keep its membership secret. Still, there are countless other instances where people like me have been hazed and mistreated. I remember this one freshman student named Izumi Wakase and all the torment she was put through."
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9346160/8/Bonds
To begin with, I've already planned for the party to return to Japan, in order to drop Tristan off and to also take a break from their journey. Right now, that break might just be a whole week, during which they'll temporarily return to school, maybe have their new friends come there with them (similar to Shiori during her arc in Kanon, though not sure if they'd actually be allowed), use their sixth senses and any harmless psionic powers of theirs to help dismantle the Hunt Club, and even invite their older friends to come see Tristan.
Since I do want Izumi and her friends (all manga-only) to make a cameo at some point, this could be that point, in which Konata would ask her to promise not to hurt anyone if she ever gets appointed by a gemstone. Here, she would then tell Konata that things actually have gotten better for her, including the aforementioned friends she's made.
Whatever else happens during their week back at school might just set things up for some stuff for the party to do while they're still in Japan upon resuming their quest.
If you or Jake have any thoughts on all that, I'll be glad to read them.
no subject
Date: 2019-07-16 12:04 pm (UTC)Okay, skipped the scene, about the idea : yeah, do that theme! Both interesting as inversion of a common lesson that tends to cause trouble in real life and as characterization material.
WARNING: Further fic spoilers (nothing sexual now, though)
Date: 2019-07-16 12:07 pm (UTC)At some point, Konata would mention that, when she first attended Ryouou High, she actually hated Miyuki for until she found herself able to trust her. Said hate stemmed from a secret organization within the school known as the Hunt Club, an idea which I got from chapter 8 of this fic called Bonds:
Konata continued regardless of Kagami's objection to the cold reaction to Miyuki's kindness. "I hated her because she came from the upscale side of the student body. The upscale demographic of the school has this secret club that they called The Hunt Club and its sole purpose was to haze students they saw as 'lesser' or unworthy of going to Ryoo. It's not one of those clubs that humiliates a student and then posts the results or reactions online because then it's not only public knowledge, it's incriminating knowledge, which shows how smart these punks are. As you know, Ryoo has some very distinguished alumni."
Miyuki nodded. "I was aware of that, yes. Are…are you saying that these people…"
"It's all about status." Konata quickly finished.
"But…but I never heard of such a grotesque club." Miyuki said with rare frustration in her voice.
Konata nodded. "I know. It's because the others who are in it thought you were too kind and too accepting of others to be in it so they keep its membership secret. Still, there are countless other instances where people like me have been hazed and mistreated. I remember this one freshman student named Izumi Wakase and all the torment she was put through."
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9346160/8/Bonds
To begin with, I've already planned for the party to return to Japan, in order to drop Tristan off and to also take a break from their journey. Right now, that break might just be a whole week, during which they'll temporarily return to school, maybe have their new friends come there with them (similar to Shiori during her arc in Kanon, though not sure if they'd actually be allowed), use their sixth senses and any harmless psionic powers of theirs to help dismantle the Hunt Club, and even invite their older friends to come see Tristan.
Since I do want Izumi and her friends (all manga-only) to make a cameo at some point, this could be that point, in which Konata would ask her to promise not to hurt anyone if she ever gets appointed by a gemstone. Here, she would then tell Konata that things actually have gotten better for her, including the aforementioned friends she's made.
Whatever else happens during their week back at school might just set things up for some stuff for the party to do while they're still in Japan upon resuming their quest.
If you or Jake have any thoughts on all that, I'll be glad to read them.