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Jun. 22nd, 2016 07:00 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dmxratedOne of the things that still bothers me is the question of whether I really do care about my self-control and integrity or if this whole thing is really just a defense mechanism against dealing with everything I had missed out on.
Suppose I did come back to the games, though. What's to actually gain from it? I'd get into the games, micro-manage my gameplay just like I used to, enjoy each instance a Pokemon levels up... and get frustrated from losing more often than not, and this time, I would know that my opponents are more than likely cheating (especially at the Battle Subway or wherever). So... keep playing?
Also, without the Dream World, without all the copies I used to own of everything, without any real personality... it all means nothing in the end. I'd play the whole game, put up with the games' dishonesty, make it to the Battle Subway, challenge it as much as I'd need to in order to buy whichever TMs I roll a double-5 for and teach them to some Pokemon or another, write the list up... and none of it means anything for all the time and money I invested in it.
Despite its modest beginning, this was supposed to be something grand, and it all came to an untimely end. The reason I even bought HeartGold, multiple copies of each Ranger game, and a Wii that I intended to play Pokemon Battle Revolution on, was to have Pokemon from all five main games to migrate to White from which I'd have gone back to playing just one game per pair. I made a point of obtaining Celebi, (Ash's) Pikachu, and the Shiny beast trio in all my Gen IV games early in 2011, only to limit how much more I'd play the games months later, swear myself off of them altogether the summer after, and eventually sell everything months even after Nintendo discontinued the Nintendo DS Wi-Fi service and killed any chance of me experiencing the Dream World should I have come back to it later. Had I stuck with the games past September '11, I would have rolled dice to decide which Pokemon would be Relocated from which games to White.
With half a year still remaining before I can possibly get a 3DS for Christmas, and before Pokemon Sun and Moon come out, I wonder whether I'd rather perpetuate this cycle at the cost of time and money, or just watch everything go by that I'd have fun with after different circumstances than what unfolded mid-'11.
But, I am not Marge Simpson, the one who gives Homer a second chance that he barely does anything to earn. I am Katy Perry, the one who looks back on the good times she had with her ex-boyfriend but burns up a half-hearted apology for cheating on her. Ditching the games was how I finally managed to get down to Kanji in Context only a few months later. There is no point throwing everything from there and everything I've cited all out the window now.
My former style of playing the games may have had been unique, but said games, in the end, are nothing more than games. I'll be sure to live life to the fullest, with other games and with actual accomplishments and real-life experiences, in exchange for everything I've already missed out on and will continue to miss out on.
Suppose I did come back to the games, though. What's to actually gain from it? I'd get into the games, micro-manage my gameplay just like I used to, enjoy each instance a Pokemon levels up... and get frustrated from losing more often than not, and this time, I would know that my opponents are more than likely cheating (especially at the Battle Subway or wherever). So... keep playing?
Also, without the Dream World, without all the copies I used to own of everything, without any real personality... it all means nothing in the end. I'd play the whole game, put up with the games' dishonesty, make it to the Battle Subway, challenge it as much as I'd need to in order to buy whichever TMs I roll a double-5 for and teach them to some Pokemon or another, write the list up... and none of it means anything for all the time and money I invested in it.
Despite its modest beginning, this was supposed to be something grand, and it all came to an untimely end. The reason I even bought HeartGold, multiple copies of each Ranger game, and a Wii that I intended to play Pokemon Battle Revolution on, was to have Pokemon from all five main games to migrate to White from which I'd have gone back to playing just one game per pair. I made a point of obtaining Celebi, (Ash's) Pikachu, and the Shiny beast trio in all my Gen IV games early in 2011, only to limit how much more I'd play the games months later, swear myself off of them altogether the summer after, and eventually sell everything months even after Nintendo discontinued the Nintendo DS Wi-Fi service and killed any chance of me experiencing the Dream World should I have come back to it later. Had I stuck with the games past September '11, I would have rolled dice to decide which Pokemon would be Relocated from which games to White.
With half a year still remaining before I can possibly get a 3DS for Christmas, and before Pokemon Sun and Moon come out, I wonder whether I'd rather perpetuate this cycle at the cost of time and money, or just watch everything go by that I'd have fun with after different circumstances than what unfolded mid-'11.
But, I am not Marge Simpson, the one who gives Homer a second chance that he barely does anything to earn. I am Katy Perry, the one who looks back on the good times she had with her ex-boyfriend but burns up a half-hearted apology for cheating on her. Ditching the games was how I finally managed to get down to Kanji in Context only a few months later. There is no point throwing everything from there and everything I've cited all out the window now.
My former style of playing the games may have had been unique, but said games, in the end, are nothing more than games. I'll be sure to live life to the fullest, with other games and with actual accomplishments and real-life experiences, in exchange for everything I've already missed out on and will continue to miss out on.