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Feb. 24th, 2018 04:30 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dmxratedAs easy as it would be to assume, the idea that Jake had been trolling me that whole time still doesn't add up, and if it did, I wouldn't have anything to ask him. He and I had been friends for years on end, and everything he did just seemed out of character. Not like with Blood, with whom everything made sense from the start.
It seems more likely that he didn't know what he was really getting into when I first hired him, started feeling especially bitter after that dispute regarding Jamie but just sucked it up from there, and failed to anticipate any actual consequences when he reached his decision just to give up on the project. That's exactly why I wrote that whole file: To enlighten him if or whenever he's feeling less resistant. He enlightened me before by pointing out how self-centered I had been all along with him and Chelle, and that's what led me to promise to change by not bringing up my fetishes or Lucky Star with him anymore. He seemed to have lightened up a bit from there, before we agreed not to speak to eachother for a while longer.
Yesterday morning, I sent him another email, inviting to focus on other things with him for the time being, while still stating my remaining intentions to make sense of things later on, when the topic will at least be less tiresome for him. Even though I'm feeling somewhat relieved after having analyzed things for myself, though, the actual implications behind his decision and rationale will still sit in the back of my mind for the foreseeable future.
As far as Unwilling Service itself goes, that, too, is still somewhat on my mind, but now is the time just to switch gears already. I've already told Michael to take as much time as he needs with May, and am planning to show Brian that Crystal guide the next time he's here while we focus on Starbound for this visit coming up. Rekindling my interest in that, especially after having finally launched a trope that I had already proposed five years ago, is also the reason I've finally decided to play anything new for the first time in two years.
(It's actually pretty ironic, that I specifically revived that story to switch gears from the Cibus project, which I focused on to switch gears from Lucky Star, and now I'm coming back to that for a change in pace from US after everything that's happened surrounding that. Said irony, in turn, becomes that much more infuriating given how badly undermined said reason was for US's revival, and I will bring this up again; just not right now while Jake's still tired of the same old topic every time we talk these days.)
It seems more likely that he didn't know what he was really getting into when I first hired him, started feeling especially bitter after that dispute regarding Jamie but just sucked it up from there, and failed to anticipate any actual consequences when he reached his decision just to give up on the project. That's exactly why I wrote that whole file: To enlighten him if or whenever he's feeling less resistant. He enlightened me before by pointing out how self-centered I had been all along with him and Chelle, and that's what led me to promise to change by not bringing up my fetishes or Lucky Star with him anymore. He seemed to have lightened up a bit from there, before we agreed not to speak to eachother for a while longer.
Yesterday morning, I sent him another email, inviting to focus on other things with him for the time being, while still stating my remaining intentions to make sense of things later on, when the topic will at least be less tiresome for him. Even though I'm feeling somewhat relieved after having analyzed things for myself, though, the actual implications behind his decision and rationale will still sit in the back of my mind for the foreseeable future.
As far as Unwilling Service itself goes, that, too, is still somewhat on my mind, but now is the time just to switch gears already. I've already told Michael to take as much time as he needs with May, and am planning to show Brian that Crystal guide the next time he's here while we focus on Starbound for this visit coming up. Rekindling my interest in that, especially after having finally launched a trope that I had already proposed five years ago, is also the reason I've finally decided to play anything new for the first time in two years.
(It's actually pretty ironic, that I specifically revived that story to switch gears from the Cibus project, which I focused on to switch gears from Lucky Star, and now I'm coming back to that for a change in pace from US after everything that's happened surrounding that. Said irony, in turn, becomes that much more infuriating given how badly undermined said reason was for US's revival, and I will bring this up again; just not right now while Jake's still tired of the same old topic every time we talk these days.)